Last night, the AFL unveiled its latest brain child, AFLX; a modified, streamlined, compacted version of Australian rules football designed to be faster, more engaging for fans, and more importantly played on rectangular fields, an aspect that – the AFL hopes – will allow the game to be more easily transplanted into non-traditional AFL markets.
And folks, the punters’ reaction was practically universal: It sucks tremendously.
The gameplay itself was a confusing mess more akin to a televised training drill. Gone is practically the entire midfield, the bulk of the contested possessions, the high marks, the tackles, and just about everything else that makes the AFL an enjoyable spectacle.
Instead, fans at Hindmarsh Stadium in Adelaide – the AFL claims attendance at the 16,000-seat capacity stadium was just over 10,000, but judging by multiple photos that’s about as bullshit as the silver ball they used – were confronted with a confusing, hard-to-follow mess that looked more like a highlights tape in fast forward.
The broadcast was even worse. Reuniting the hollering old boys club of James Brayshaw and Brian Taylor on commentary aside, the AFL shoved ad partnership after ad partnership down viewers throats, with almost every aspect of the new format sold off to within an inch of its life.
Baffling “Zooper goals” and thoroughly obnoxious LED-light goal posts quite blatantly displayed how desperate the AFL is to cash in on the runaway success of the Big Bash League.
As for the broader fan reaction on Twitter, it was ahhh… not kind. At all.
BT and Brayshaw is the soundtrack from hell. It’s going to be a very long season.#AFLX
— Richard Hinds (@rdhinds) February 15, 2018
No tackling ,No high marks ,No contact 🤔 Worth a try but not for me #AFLX #remindsmeofcirclework
— Shane Crawford (@SCrawf9) February 15, 2018
Got a little hangover feel to it. Drinkwise onto Maccas onto Zooper Dooper #AFLX
— Kath Loughnan (@KathLoughnan) February 15, 2018
So I caught the second @CollingwoodFC #aflx game tonight .
1. The “zooper dooper” is THE dumbest thing in A.F.L since Warwick Capper.
2. It shouldn’t be underestimated how dumb Warwick is.
3. If it returns next year a 10 point goal should be called a “Warwick”— Merrick Watts (@MerrickWatts) February 15, 2018
Do those Zooper Dooper signs remind anyone else of the Rainbow Road course in Mario Kart? #AFLX
— Daniel Garb (@DanielGarb) February 15, 2018
The question we’ll all be asking in years to come will be “where were you when you first ignored #AFLX?” @JunktimeAFLPod
— adam rozenbachs (@arozenbachs) February 15, 2018
AFLzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..#AFLX
— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) February 15, 2018
The year is 2020. The AFLX is the only game on TV. There’s no ball. The player’s kick around a Zooper Dooper. BT can only commentate in flavours. “Raspberry Rocket!” he cries as Tom Hawkins kicks a “cold one” through the giant Icy Pole shaped goals for two hundred points. #AFLX
— stepmates (@stepmates) February 15, 2018
https://twitter.com/RLGriffinGWS/status/964044311422672896
If Angry Anderson and the Batmobile had a baby, it would be AFLX. #aflx
— Emma Race (@Emsyanna) February 15, 2018
Wait wait wait it’s ACTUALLY called a Zooper Goal ahahahahaha I thought everyone was being an idiot. I can’t wait for The Bee Movie Beehind. #AFLX
— Michael Beveridge (@mickyb273) February 15, 2018
https://twitter.com/JamColley/status/964043423559794688
https://twitter.com/rustyjacko/status/964068344813862912
Been out so just catching up on #AFLX now, but early impression is that the most exciting elements of the game have actually been removed and it just looks like a ball movement training drill. Don’t think seven per side seems enough.
— Rohan Connolly (@rohan_connolly) February 15, 2018
AFLX is the product of a whole lot of time and money that should have been spent developing AFLW.
— harvsk (@HarvsK) February 15, 2018
It’s an absolute mess, basically. A really, really, really expensive mess.
The 2018 AFLX experiment has two more “tournaments” to go: one tonight in Melbourne, and on on Saturday night in Sydney.
If we all just hold hands or something, we can probably get through this together.