Shit You Should Never Say To A Single Person, You Asshole

All single people are sad, lonely and desperate to find someone that’ll use up all their bed space, right? Definitely not the fucking case. I’ve been single for a long time and nothing shits me more than the pity others give you for being in such a god-forsaken “situation”.

Whether it’s *the look* from Aunt Julie upon finding out you’re not seeing anyone for the 7th Christmas in a row, or a patronising comment from a friend who thinks you were put on this earth to pop out infants with a Disney prince lookalike (preference: Eric), it all gets a bit tired, irritating, and, well, patronising.

I’m not saying all people who are loved-up are shitty, no. But the ones who say the below comments? Yep, they 100 per cent are.

“OMG I can’t believe you’re single!”

“Just start dating someone even if you’re not that into them. You can just figure it out later or dump them.”

“Do you think maybe you should lower your standards?”

“I feel like you’re just going for the wrong kind of people.”

“How are you still single? You’re amazing.”

“Why aren’t you dating anyone?”

“Try hanging out with different people! Maybe you’ll meet someone new!”

“You’ll meet them soon. I’ve got a feeling.”

“When do you think you’ll settle down?”

“It’s OK! You’ll find someone!”

“I’ll be your wingman!”

“It’ll happen when you least expect it.”

“Maybe you’re just looking too hard?”

“When I chose to be single and focus on myself, that’s when I found someone.”

“Have you been hooking up heaps? Oh, god I miss the single life sometimes!”

“It’s so nice being married! Just feels different.”

At the risk of sounding violent (which I most definitely am not), if you’ve said any of the above to a single person, please stop bestowing your unwelcome relationship wisdom upon those who haven’t been in a relationship since their bellybutton naturally fell off.

Remember: we don’t have anyone who we might, god forbid, embarrass by showing you where the sun don’t shine.

And if the above gets said to you instead? Lap up the single life and explore your options by entering below to become Tinder’s Profile Of The Month.

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