Aside from dating apps, Instagram is the #1 zone where all our ~Millennial generation/Gen Z/whatever~ flirting takes place. It’s the MSN Messenger of 2019. Except instead of just being centred around IM’s, it’s full of a myriad of ways to hint at people you’re keen to bone that you would probably like to bone them sometime.
There’s the basics of Instagram flirting – you know, follow the person, like their hot selfies. Then there’s the shit only the pro’s do. The true lords of the social media wink, if you will.
We asked a bunch of people for their best tips and rounded ’em up for you.
USE THAT INSTAGRAM STORY REPLY TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
Everyone knows replying to someones Instagram Story can strike up a fun/flirty convo – but those don’t necessarily evolve into actual real-life meet ups. In fact, they usually just stay as a little awkward banter on the ‘Gram. However, if you time it right, you’ve got some great ops to turn a quick chat into a “hey, what are you up to?”.
If you want to bone this person, try replying toward the end of a night out, ESPECIALLY if it looks like they’re out as well. “Lol where are you, that looks insane” for example can become “come, it’s mad”. Which then becomes “who’s bed have I woken up in here”. Lol.
Alternatively if you’re into this person beyond a hook up, one of the people I chatted to swears by the Sunday morning Insta-reply.
“Hit them up when they’re feeling a bit sensitive, like Sunday morning, when they’re more likely to keep the chat going”.
LIKE THOSE SEXY PICS LAST
One person I spoke to reckons she waits to like a person she likes’ thirst trap. Why? Because then you’re the last person to like it, your name will come up as a notification solo (not in amongst everyone elses) and you’re more likely to get noticed.
“I’ll wait an entire day before I like it. Then I know I’m on their mind, because the hype over the pic has died down.”
If you’re posting your own thirst trap pics, get your timing right. 10am on a Monday? Not. A. Mood. 6pm on a Friday night? Hiiiiii.
THROW OUT TEENY CRUMBS
There’s SO many ways to throw a crumb out that will hopefully be eaten rapidly by your tiny little squirrel who is actually a fully-grown adult human.
I had people tell me they put Spotify tracks in Instagram Stories that they know the person will like, because they’re likely to reply and… well… tell you they like the song.
“Bonus round, if you’ve been on a date with them or discussed music before, one of the tracks you’ve chatted about. That is a slightly more aggressive move.”
There’s also the old location tool. This one is a *bit* creepy, but hey – LIFE IS CREEPY SOMETIMES OK? Basically, if you’re in their hood, add the pub you’re at as a geotag.
“Add the location if you know they frequent that place or it’s close to where they live / hang out. It’s all about starting a conversation, right?”
Not their actual street, guys. NEVER THEIR STREET.
TACTICALLY LIKE OTHER POSTS
Here’s an absolutely brilliant yet completely batshit suggestion one lord of a woman told me. Use that “Following” tab to your advantage – we all bloody check it, so you can almost guarantee whoever you’re crushing on is perusing it from time to time.
“Wait till you know they’re online to start liking photos of mutual friends so that you come up in their following feed – this works especially well if you haven’t liked their most recent photo yet.”
If that’s not a savage move I do not know what is.
Another tactical move is to like memes from meme accounts the person you’re into follows too. Your name *should* come up at the beginning of the list of likes, meaning you look hilarious and awesome. Or, you know, this person won’t give a shit and will barely notice.
SLIDE INTO THOSE DM’S WHEN YOU FOLLOW THEM
A simple follow is not enough to indicate to someone that you’re keen. You need to double-whammy that shit with a DM slide. Now, DM slides don’t always work. In fact, if the person you’re into has NO mutual mates, it can be downright unsolicited bullshit.
But if you’ve got mates in common or you’ve met before, hit those DM’s babey! Send them anything from a meme to a “hey Insta friend” or whatever. I don’t know who you are, just send something fun and YOU, ok! Some people even have success with sending a particularly hot selfie of the person they followed, like one dude who’s GF I spoke to.
“He did the ol’ follow, then instantly liked exactly 4 selfies (enough to get my attention, without being that creepy person who likes all your photos) before hitting the DM’s by sending my own photo and a ripper of a compliment.”
TAG THEM IN MEMES
This seems obvious, but your meme-humour is intrinsically tied to your personality, so if you KNOW you’ve got killer meme game it’s worth using that to your advantage. This works best if you’ve already got a bit of chat going on (it’s kind of weird if you’ve never spoken to them) – and the more obscurely your humour, the better.
“I like to tag people I’ve got chat with in a meme that relates to something we both like. I’ve done it with The Office before, and when all else fails there’s always dogs.”