I detest the Melbourne Cup and everything it stands for. From the glorification of binge drinking and gambling to the animal cruelty and ill-fitting Tarocash suits blokes insist on wearing, quite literally everything about the event makes me gag. Well folks, there’s now another foul byproduct of the Melbourne Cup that’s entered the chat: a TikTok of an attendee licking an escalator handrail at Flemington Racecourse.
Screaming, crying, throwing up et cetera.
TikTok user Luke Peffer (@luke_peffer99) uploaded the vid of his handrail licking sister Jamie-lee McCabe on Wednesday. It’s since gone hog wild, amassing more than 20,000 likes at the time of writing.
The TikTok shows McCabe riding an escalator holding a Smirnoff Double Black and a lime green vape. A balanced diet, some might say.
She then inexplicably leaned over and showed the handrail what that mouth do.
@luke_peffer99 MELBOURNE CUP 🤌🏼…… sister told me she was only gonna have a couple then this happend🫣 #fypシ #fypシ #party #jefferydahmeredits #gross #youlikethetasteofass #lol #leaveherbe ♬ original sound – Liam McCreaddiie
Except for the fact she LICKED a HANDRAIL, quite possibly the most terrifying part of the video was how long her tongue made contact with it. It was a solid six to seven-second lick. I’m not saying there’s an acceptable timeframe in which to slurp a dirty handrail post-Melbourne Cup, however, doing it for up to seven seconds is simply far too long.
McCabe spoke to the Daily Mail Australia about The Lick™.
“I think I was licking down the side of it,” she said.
“I did have black shit in my mouth by the end of it so I’m thinking it was also possibly part of the handrail.
“If I had it my way again, I would have steered completely clear of the handrail and just licked up the side.”
A few things to unpack here. Firstly, I don’t even want to consider what man-made horrors beyond our comprehension made up that “black shit”.
Secondly, the fact McCabe has hypothesised how she would go about tasting a handrail at Flemington Racecourse for a second time has sent me. She’s literally planning how she could improve her technique like an Olympic gymnast. Girl, STOP.
Judging by the comments on the TikTok, I’m not the only one who found the video absolutely revolting.
“Broooo that’s absolutely feral,” one user commented.
“My whole body contorted while watching this. I’ve developed permanent frown lines, thanks,” another wrote.
“This so foul I’m speechless lol,” said a third.
“Immunity level god mode,” another user wrote.
While one would think licking a dirty handrail would’ve made McCabe atrociously unwell, she reckons she walked away unharmed and her hangover was the only thing that got her down.
“I’m still recovering,” she told Daily Mail Australia.
“I have been to the Melbourne Cup before and other races too and my behaviour still remains the same.
“I mean, I thought this was pretty placid…”
One person’s placid is another person’s vomitrocious.
