In The Social Network (2010), Jesse Eisenberg plays a cold and unfeeling robot who has huge plans for the future of online interaction. It was named Mark Zuckerberg. One criticism of his portrayal however is that he didn’t fully embrace the material at hand: a pasty man with unsettling orbs for eyes and a mesmerising lack of self-awareness. Thankfully, Zuck’s new Metaverse selfie doesn’t make the same mistake.

Despite the fact that I have full intentions of posting this article on Facebook, I would like to talk about Mark Zuckerberg’s strange new Metaverse selfie, which is being roasted online. It’s also being praised for just how much it looks like him (derogatory).

First, some context.

Zuckerberg released his glorified video game Facebook Horizon in 2020 — an invite-only beta world that’s like Animal Crossing except you replace the cute animals with Stephanie from primary school.

To build onto this digital Disneyland of unspeakable online horrors, Zuckerberg announced Horizon Worlds this week. It’s pretty much Facebook Horizon but with the Eiffel Tower.

The whole aim of this Metaverse world is that you can build the reality of your dreams. Look, I know they said kids who get bullied in school become the successful ones, but do they have to sneak in the trauma of their pained existence into their creations?

To celebrate the release of Horizon Worlds, Zuckerberg took a selfie in the Metaverse and shared it online.

I never played Slenderman as a kid (2 scary 4 me) but I’m pretty sure that image is what you see when you fail to collect all the pages from the trees.

I honestly cannot believe how easy it is to create a digital version of Zuck that looks just like him. He has such a simple head.

I still don’t understand how this isn’t just a video game??

Zuckerberg does realise that we’ve been interacting with our friends as digital avatars for years thanks to a whole smorgasbord of games that allow us to do so, right?

Naturally, the internet is having a blast with Zuckerberg’s unrelenting willingness to prove to the world that he’s ‘cool’ and ‘hip’.

My brother in Metaverse Christ, you literally spent millions just to reinvent Wii Sports Resort (2009) and add in the ability to talk to friends.

I don’t know where Zuckerberg gets off on being A4 paper-coloured alien pretending to be a human online, but I want it to end.

Image: Getty Images / Yoshikazu Tsuno