In news we never saw coming, Kyle MacLachlan is in Australia. How do we know this? Well he’s started doing daily videos from his 14-day hotel quarantine stint in Sydney, before he’ll be released into the real-life Black Lodge (desolate streets of a city in lockdown).

Kyle is currently on Day 2 of his quarantine stretch, which looks to be right in the heart of the city considering the Sydney Tower Eye/Centrepoint Tower is outside his window, and his transmission today is just chockers full of Aussie slang. The man knows the way to my heart, and it’s through this him saying things like “hard yakka”, “budgie smugglers”, “arvo to din din” and “sink a slab” in an accent that sounds more like a Canadian than an Aussie.

The first day of his quarantine had Kyle educating his 436k Insta followers about the dangers of the Sydney funnel web spider – which pose a very real and dangerous threat but we all just accept them as part of the furniture.

Kyle’s Twin Peaks: The Return co-star Naomi Watts has been in the comments of these bloody delightful video diaries, too. As someone who lived in Australia since she was 14 (meaning we can rightfully claim her as Our Naomi), she’s a pretty good judge on the ocker levels of Kyle’s videos, and has been giving them a stamp of approval – even confirming that he’ll be “spot on by day 14, no wuckin’ furries!”

Truly king shit, this.

Now I’m not 100% sure why the king of the extended David Lynch universe, the damn fine coffee enjoyer, and the original nobleman of the dunes, is gracing Australia with his blessed, wholesome presence. He’s said he’s here “for work” but what does that even mean? What are you working on??

After some snooping I’ve spied that Kyle MacLachlan has been cast as Howard Baskin in Kate McKinnon‘s TV series of Joe Exotic (a thing nobody asked for), which is currently in pre-production. It was previously announced that it’ll be filmed in Australia, and the cast includes the likes of Shareena ClantonNic English, and Jenna Owen, so I’m gonna say that’s why he’s in town.

And the by-product of that is us getting a daily video of Kyle being delightfully daggy to entertain himself – and all of us – while in hotel quarantine.

Welcome to Australia, king. We do not deserve you.

Image: Instagram / @kyle_maclachlan / Twin Peaks