Picture it: you’re in Adelaide and mosey over to Bunnings on a Sunday afternoon to check out its ‘yuge selection of plants. You decide to treat yourself to a sausage (not a euphemism) and while you’re waiting you hear shouting and expletives. A fight has erupted between two gnarky blokes outside the sausage sizzle and the tranquil, wholesome energy which Bunnings possesses is gone in a flash. The folks at the barbecue took their eyes off the onions to watch the beef play out and now they’re burned to a crisp. The snags have gone cold, limp and flaccid.
No, this isn’t a nightmare. This happened at a Bunnings in Adelaide on Sunday, give or take a few embellishments.
I have essentially already explained the entire story but, basically, two men started arguing with each other in front of a Bunnings sausage sizzle. It’s unclear what kicked off said fight but based on footage of the incident, it appears to have started ‘cos one of the blokes parked in front of the barbecue and blocked the road.
TikToker Dora Rinaldi (@dora_rinaldi) captured the fracas in all its glory.
@dora_rinaldi #Bunnings ♬ original sound – Dora Rinaldi
It’s truly the most Australian biffo I’ve ever seen. The random guy who says, “D’ya want a sausage to calm down, bruz?” which is objectively the funniest thing anyone can ever say to break up an argument. The bloke going full aggy who yells, “GETTHATCAROUTTATHEFARKENWAY,” while he’s clomping around angrily in his thongs. The fella who’s being shouted out at calmly firing back with a mouth full of meat (again, not a euphemism) so everything he’s saying is muffled. The sweet, gentle sausage sizzle volunteer who’s trying his hardest to pacify the thonged man.
It’s a work of art. Pure Australiana.
Folks in the comments agreed it was a thing of beauty.
“It’s not the sausage man’s first rodeo,” one person wrote.
“Love how he’s not gonna let a fight stop him from enjoying his Bunnings snag,” said another.
“Old mate treating the sausage sizzle as if it’s a drive-thru,” wrote a third.
God speed, sausage man. May you always have the strength, nay courage, to eat a Bunnings sausage sizzle wherever you so desire.
