Thank the good based lord that Federal Parliament is back into its regular schedule of grown-ass adults abjectly slinging barbs at each other.
The Senate settled in to the traditional circle jerk that is Question Time a little earlier today, and if you thought the break for the election had managed to cool everyone off, you’d be damned well mistaken. The Upper House came back in red hot.
Tasmania’s crazy aunt/poster woman for West Coast Coolers Senator Jacqui Lambie decided to open the new senate’s proceedings well and truly on the front foot, taking aim at publicly elected shitbag Cory Bernardi.
Bernardi, the Liberal backbench attack dog the party never asked for, has lead the charge against Labor Senator Sam Dastyari, over revelations that Dastyari had a personal debt paid for by a Chinese donor.
Thoroughly unimpressed with Bernardi’s antics and conduct, Lambie came out swinging. And swinging hard.
— Mark:Di-Stefano (@MarkDiStef) September 1, 2016
“Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi lecturing this Parliament and displaying mock outrage regarding Labor Senator Sam Dastyari and Chinese political donations is like an angry prostitute lecturing us about the benefits of celibacy.
And before I receive unfair criticism from the sex workers, I apologise to them profusely [for] comparing them to Senator Bernardi. I know that is a really terrible, low-down thing to do. Because I can tell you prostitutes are far more honest, sincere, humane, compassionate, and better bang for buck than Senator Bernardi will ever be able to deliver.”
To recap: Lambie sledges Bernardi by calling him a prostitute, apologises to sex workers for dragging that particular epithet into proceedings, then brings it back around to sledge Bernardi again.
The ole’ political one-two Kostya Tszyu.
Lambie’s loose usage of sex industry terminology aside (which is, to borrow a phrase from the Twitter generation, problematique AF) it’s day 3 of the new parliament and we’re already copping this.
It’s gonna be a hell of a term, you guys.