Meet Tony Abbott.
He’s engaging. He’s decisive. He’s just joined the international speaking circuit, and has somehow managed to convince his new speaking agency the Washington Speakers Bureau that his leadership was “during one of the most turbulent times in Australian politics” *wasn’t* because he was leading it.
Yup, Tony Abbott is now an international speaker, and you can book him through the Washington Speakers Bureau. They list two of his greatest achievements as “the introduction of legislation to repeal carbon tax” and stopping “illegal maritime arrivals“, and reckon he offers “a profound depth of experience.“
In light of this stella resume, the Washington Speakers Bureau are pricing him as such, and we now live in a world, ladies and gentlemen, where Tony freaking Abbott may be charging over $40,000 to give a speech.
This about sums it up tbh:
Tony Abbott’s keen to speak about leadership, the global economy, global trade and Asia, and if you’d like him at your next event, you can fill out a form and mark down your speaker budget as anywhere from “travel and expenses only” to over $40k.
In fairness, heaps of the big name speakers can charge an absolute shit load, with former U.S. presidents charging up to $300,000 per speech, and former U.S. failed presidential candidate Al Gore charging $100,000 – $150,000. A 2011 Crikey investigation determined that ex-Australian PMs can charge between $35,000 and $40,000 per speech.
But look, in the course of writing this story, we found out that Donald Trump was once paid $1.5 million to speak at a real estate expo, and so we’re just done, to be quite honest with you, we’re so fucking done.
Image: Stefan Postles via Getty Images.