Much as we all love watching ordinary people do extraordinary things on talent shows, part of us – deep down inside – really, really wants to watch some random nobody crash and burn on national TV. It’s what keeps the channels turning, baby.

In today’s episode of people fucking themselves right up on the tele, we have this magnificent clip from Sri Lanka’s Got Talent. Ostensibly the same show as the Australian version except… y’know… in Sri Lanka.

Sudarshana Deshappriya, a 32-year-old karate enthusiast, auditioned for the show – which is in its debut season – by putting on a display for the ages. A spectacle of such bodily poise and fury that few would dare not tremble. A real kick-ass show of kickin’ ass.

At least, that’s what the plan was.

What ensued, before rolling cameras, was the most efficient and concise instructional performance on how to know yourself out ever put to broadcast television.

There’s hitting the ground like a tonne of bricks and then there’s… this.

If he quickly pivoted he could’ve claimed his talent was being the Most Concussed Man Alive. ‘Course that would’ve required his brain to have not resembled over-scrambled eggs at the time, so each to his own.

Lot to unpack there, but the key takeaways:

  • How does he not savagely impale his nuts on the way down the first time he falls?
  • Brushing off the trainers. More guts than brains, apparently literally.
  • Still having the presence of mind, what little was left of it, to drop into a full split for the final elbow drop? Impressive stuff.
  • The judge putting an end to it by saying “Stop it, son” instantly makes him better than any judge on the Australian version.

For what it’s worth, he got three yeses; even got one of the judges to change an initial no to a yes.

Let this be a lesson for you, kids: A job worth doing is a job worth getting a low-grade brain injury from.