In great news for sharks and also me, a shark enthusiast, the zaddies of the sea are reaching record sizes and turning into absolute MEGA BEASTS because of fish protection zones. Oh, and they’re starting to hunt in packs too. I for one welcome our chonky overlords.

According to marine biologists, both protections for endangered sharks and fishing zones have lead to an increase in a) the actual number of sharks and b) the number of fish these sharks feed on.

When added together, what do we get? MEGA SHARKS.

That’s right, these baddies are getting bigger and better because they now have a steady food supply that has allowed them to thrive and grow to new heights, literally.

Tiger sharks typically grow to about 3.5 metres long but marine biologist Kori Burkhardt spotted one that was five metres long. It makes sense then that the shark was found in French Polynesia — where they have had extra protection for over a decade.

“When we first met Kamakai it was really unexpected. I’ve been diving with tiger sharks in multiple countries and she’s by far the biggest I’ve ever seen,” Burkhardt said, per The Mirror.

“It’s not just her length but her width as well.

“She can be five metres long but she’s three metres wide, including her fins. That’s insane.”

FYI, that is the size of a fkn car.

Sharks in French Polynesian waters are thicc and thriving because of the abundance of food around them, as they should be.

Great white sharks are also getting larger. They average at about four or five metres long, but scientists are seeing more and more of the creatures grow to six metres.

They are classed as a vulnerable species because of climate change’s effect on their habitat as well as illegal fishing. BUT, Hawaii banned shark fishing earlier this year and introduced a bunch of other protections, which is what scientists reckon has given these mega-babes the ability to become super-sized.

Oh, and now they’re hunting in packs too because of the reduced competition for food, with three large great white pointy bois spotted sharing a whale. Work smarter not harder right?

“Finding one white shark and a whale, sure,” marine biologist Dr Chris Lowe said.

“Getting three large female white sharks on a whale, that’s different.

“That means those sharks must have been close enough in the vicinity to detect the odour of that whale, and then also it might mean that these sharks are travelling together.

“It’s something we’ve never really been able to study or understand.”

Any humans who have a problem with these animals living their best life can duel me personally.

And by any humans I specifically mean certain tabloid publications *cough*TheMirror*cough* who have taken to fat-shaming our big bois, with one article even referring to their size as an “obesity crisis”.

I can’t believe I have to say this but: why shouldn’t they thrive in the ocean, which is literally where they live??? It’s their home??? Imagine trying to shame the “waistline” (yes really) of a SHARK.

The presence of a thriving, populated predator class is a symptom of a healthy ecosystem and food chain, and we should be fkn celebrating these MEGA BEASTS.

Image: Juan Oliphant / Instagram @juansharks