Old mate Russell Crowe’s having a divorce auction and it’s happening right about now – and you can even stream it on Facebook on this fine Saturday evening. It’s also Russell’s birthday making this the weirdest divorce auction/ birthday party ever but if you ever wanted to put a positive spin on something as miserable as a divorce, well this is one way to do it.

The auction is being held by Sotheby’s Australia and will feature souvenirs from his expansive film career, instruments, sporting memorabilia, motorbikes, paintings, and jewellery he had given to former wife, Danielle Spencer. The couple split up back in 2012 after nine years together.

Seriously, it’s happening right now and it looks super fancy.

Now, to the eclectic mix of items up for grabs ‘cos you need to see it to believe it.

NEIIGGHH

Sotheby’s Australia

This curious item is off the Gladiator (2002) set. It’s definitely not real though. It’s a mixture of rubber, faux fur, and steel and it’s all yours for an easy sum of between $2,000 to $4,000.

The Actual Chariot From ‘Gladiator’

Sotheby’s Australia

If you ever wanted to feel like a bloody badass, here’s your chance. It’s a fully functioning replica Roman chariot from Gladiator complete with a letter from Russell stating his ownership of the gnarly item. The chariot is 136 cm high, 206 cm wide, and 210 cm long.

Straight to the pool room if you wanna cough up $5000 to $10,000.

A Saucy Jock Strap

Sotheby’s Australia

For between $500 and $600 this brown leather ‘boxer’s protector’ could be yours. It was used in the boxing film Cinderella Man  (2005) and 100 per cent used by Russell. Christmas has come early.

The Bloody Uniform From ‘Master And Commander’

Sotheby’s Australia

Mates, this is genuinely very cool. Master And Commander (2003) was a bloody solid film with two Oscars under its belt. It’s your classic exciting conflict film and our grandparents/parents/aunt/uncles/someone older has definitely made you watch it at least once during your early years.

This particular costume was worn in the scene where Captain Jack Aubrey (Russell) is injured and orders his crew to land so that he can treat it. It may look like a mere three layers but the entire costume is made up of the Captain’s coat complete with gold thread embroidered shoulder boards, a cream coloured ruffled cotton shirt, a cream wool vest, cream coloured breeches, a black neck wrap tie, high top black riding boots, and cream woollen socks. You’re getting everything plus a signed photograph of none other than Russell in full costume.

Would 100 per cent buy if I had a spare $35,000 in my pocket.

Denzel Washington’s Seat Back???

Sotheby’s Australia

It’s estimated to be worth between $400 and $600… although the seat back is from American Gangster (2007) so that probably explains it. Also Denzel is a bloody legend.

Roar?

Sotheby’s Australia

I just had a wild flashback to playing Animal Crossing – a Nintendo DS game where I was virtually able to acquire an equally virtual fossil for $20,000 (money that took ages to acquire in the game).

Anyway, Russell’s also selling this mounted Mosasaur from the late Cretaceous Period. The fossil is a relative of the monitor lizard family and is apparently 65 million years old.

Yours for $40,000.

An Actual Damn Car

Sotheby’s Australia

This 2001 Mercedes-Benz S500 Saloon is also just casually in the auction but being an older model, it’s estimated to fetch between $15,000 to $25,000.

A Muhammad Ali Plaster Cast

Sotheby’s Australia

No really, it’s an actual cast of the late boxing legend, Muhammad Ali. It’s worth about $1.200 bucks and is kinda cool, kinda creepy.

Click HERE to see all the items.

There’s over a hundred items up for grabs so safe to say it’s going to be a hella long auction. Grab your wine, kick back and watch this glorious example of rich people buying rich people’s stuff.

Happy birthday Russell Crowe.

Image: Getty Images + Sotheby's Australia