The Queen has reportedly rallied senior members of the British royal family to mend the institution’s rift with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, who this week announced they are abandoning traditional royal duties – and all the bullshit attached to them.

The Guardian reports Queen Elizabeth II, along with Prince Charles and Prince William, have urged staff to cook up official positions for the couple in keeping with their stated desire to occupy a “progressive new role” in the family.

Buckingham Palace reportedly wants “workable solutions” to the matter resolved in a matter of “days not weeks”, suggesting the monarchy is reeling at the thought of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex rejecting a royal income, living in North America, and dodging the royal family’s media engagements.

It really does seem like the whole announcement was a huge surprise. In addition to yesterday’s terse palace statement on the matter, The Guardian has echoed a claim Prince Harry and Meghan emailed a version of their Instagram statement just ten minutes before sending it live on social media.

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“After many months of reflection and internal discussions, we have chosen to make a transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution. We intend to step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen. It is with your encouragement, particularly over the last few years, that we feel prepared to make this adjustment. We now plan to balance our time between the United Kingdom and North America, continuing to honour our duty to The Queen, the Commonwealth, and our patronages. This geographic balance will enable us to raise our son with an appreciation for the royal tradition into which he was born, while also providing our family with the space to focus on the next chapter, including the launch of our new charitable entity. We look forward to sharing the full details of this exciting next step in due course, as we continue to collaborate with Her Majesty The Queen, The Prince of Wales, The Duke of Cambridge and all relevant parties. Until then, please accept our deepest thanks for your continued support.” – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex For more information, please visit (link in bio) Image © PA

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The move was pretty symbolic, which is important, given the royal family is important on an almost entirely symbolic basis. Two young and high profile members of the family ditching traditional roles suggests fractures in the monarchy, which was already dealing with Prince Andrew‘s ties to dead billionaire sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

Once again, I am glad to be a total pleb whose decision to move out of the family home didn’t make international headlines.

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