The Queen Reportedly Lit A Fire Up The Arses Of The Entire Royal Family Yesterday

The Queen has reportedly rallied senior members of the British royal family to mend the institution’s rift with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, who this week announced they are abandoning traditional royal duties – and all the bullshit attached to them.

[jwplayer 3PeVGWNA]

The Guardian reports Queen Elizabeth II, along with Prince Charles and Prince William, have urged staff to cook up official positions for the couple in keeping with their stated desire to occupy a “progressive new role” in the family.

Buckingham Palace reportedly wants “workable solutions” to the matter resolved in a matter of “days not weeks”, suggesting the monarchy is reeling at the thought of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex rejecting a royal income, living in North America, and dodging the royal family’s media engagements.

It really does seem like the whole announcement was a huge surprise. In addition to yesterday’s terse palace statement on the matter, The Guardian has echoed a claim Prince Harry and Meghan emailed a version of their Instagram statement just ten minutes before sending it live on social media.

The move was pretty symbolic, which is important, given the royal family is important on an almost entirely symbolic basis. Two young and high profile members of the family ditching traditional roles suggests fractures in the monarchy, which was already dealing with Prince Andrew‘s ties to dead billionaire sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

Once again, I am glad to be a total pleb whose decision to move out of the family home didn’t make international headlines.