Prepare Yourself For The Pants-Shittingly Creepy Twitter Tale Of ‘Dear David’

dear david haunting twitter ghost story

Get yourself a cup of tea, put all the lights in the house on, and clutch your pet / significant other / housemate / stuffed toy close: we’re about to dive into the long, excruciatingly spooky saga of  Twitter user Adam Ellis, and ‘Dear David‘, a child-ghost who’s trying to kill him.

Let us begin at the beginning.

Way back in August, Ellis posted the first thread of tweets about Dear David. It started with sleep paralysis.

It gets worse. Much worse.

According to Ellis, the next night he dreamed that a girl came up to him in the library and said, “You’ve seen Dear David, haven’t you?” Then she told him:

He’s dead. He only appears at midnight, and you can ask him two questions if you said ‘Dear David’ first. But never try to ask him a third question, or he’ll kill you.

You better believe the next time Dear David appeared in Ellis’s dream, the fucken dunce asked him three questions.

Shit rapidly unravelled from there. We’ve got the entire haunting catalogue here, folks: animals freaking out (Ellis’s cats started staring spookily at his door every night at midnight), unexplained shit happening on nanny cams (with many documented instances of things falling off walls and shelves), Dear David’s creepy caved-in skull appearing everywhere, and one apparently terrified bloke trying to accurately document it all with varying levels of success.

The most recent instalment happened just a couple of days ago, when Ellis says he woke up with an unshakeable sense of dread.

He tried to set his nanny cam up in the bedroom to see if something was going on, but the cord wouldn’t reach – so he downloaded an app for his phone that would take a photo every 60 seconds, set it up on his bookshelf, and went back to sleep.

I think I speak for all of us when I say, ABSOLUTELY FUCK THAT TO HELL. 

There’s a whooooole lot more other shit that’s gone down with this creepy fucking kid-ghost, including a child’s shoe in an attic, an unexplained hearse and a fucking bruised arm, so we strongly encourage you to check out Ellis’s entire yarn via his handy Storify.

If you’re thinking that this whole thing is extremely, insultingly fake, you’re not alone. It sure seems convenient that Ellis is a cartoonist with a book coming out next year – but he has explicitly addressed this:

And then there’s the fact that, y’know, those pics of Dear David sure do look a lot like a big doll with its plastic head pushed in a bit on one side.

Is all that going to keep me from salting the boundary of my house and burning sage in every room? Hell the fuck no. And friends, if Dear David shows up in your dreams, maybe err on the side of caution and ask him exactly zero questions. Then maybe go and get yourself a good exorcist.

Sleep well!