Huge News: Peter Dutton’s Wife Thinks He Is Nice

In what experts are calling a coincidence of staggering proportion, Kirilly Dutton, the wife of Peter Dutton, has reached out to News Corp to help launder her husband’s image defend her husband’s character just in time for the election.

[jwplayer hC1miVum]

In an article headlined “Peter Dutton’s wife defends him, declaring ‘he’s no monster’“, a “fed-up” Kirilly Dutton told The Sunday Mail that the Home Affairs minister can’t possibly be a bad person, because he tells dad jokes:

There’s a lot of dad jokes. He loves to give them a hard time at the dinner table. They pretend to find it completely horrifying but they actually love it and laugh like crazy.

He’s an amazing dad given the job he keeps. I feel that he is far better than me at compartmentalising everything.

I imagine you would have to be pretty good at compartmentalising when your job involves overseeing a program of indefinite offshore detention of asylum seekers and refugees that has seen a high number of suicides, in addition to suicide attempts from children as young as 10 years old.

Pictured: I think this is supposed to be humanising.

While he might not have been attentive to the resignation syndrome that was causing children in detention to stop eating and drinking, that’s fine, because he is attentive to his own kids:

If he’s got a colleague on the phone, they absolutely have his 110 per cent attention but he’ll hang up from the phone call and one of the kids will have a question about an assignment or they’ll want him to bowl a few balls outside in the backyard or ­Rebecca’s driving lessons (he does that with them).

Sure, Peter Dutton promoted the white nationalist white genocide conspiracy theory; pushed a ridiculous lie about crime in Melbourne to promote racist dog whistling around the so-called ‘African gags’ crisis; claimed that his opponent in the election was using her disability as an ‘excuse’ for not immediately buying a new accessible house in the electorate; claimed that allowing Lebanese immigrants under the Fraser government was a mistake; boycotted the apology to the Stolen Generations; and who categorised asylum seekers as “illiterate and innumerate” people who would take Australian jobs, but he can’t be all that bad, because he gave his daughter driving lessons:

Obviously, his policing background gave him an insight into driving, but more than anything, I think it was just an opportunity too good to miss to have 100 hours in a car with his teenage daughter. They did do a lot of long drives (and) they’d get to talk about different things at different times perhaps he wouldn’t have been able to touch on before.

I too meet the expectations of my role in my family, where the fuck is my article?