They say that pets are never a good idea for Christmas gifts, but this is just straight-up taking the piss. Victoria Police have stumbled upon an actual, real-life, no fooling saltwater crocodile wandering the streets of Melbourne late on Christmas Day, and have absolutely no sodding idea how the animal wound up there.
Cops received a tip-off from a pair of people out for a walk in Heidelberg Heights in Melbourne’s inner north-east at around 8:30pm last night.
Now it’s not every day that you get a phone call in suburban Melbourne from someone who says “there’s a crocodile on the footpath,” so police attending the scene expecting some gigantic bastard of Jurassic Park-proportions to be snapping at them when they arrived.
Instead, they found a one metre-long critter quietly and calmly sitting on the footpath outside a business.
Police have absolutely no idea how the croc came to be outside the business, which was extremely closed for the festive season. Nor do they have any idea as to who might have either owned or lost an actual crocodile in inner-Melbourne.
A reptile catcher was called to the scene, and the creature was successfully and safely removed from the area. It will remain under the care of the reptile catcher until officials from the Department of Environment, Land, Water and Planning can come collect it. Or, y’know, until someone comes forward to claim their extremely weird pet.
If you happen to own a one metre saltwater crocodile that’s just so happened to have gone walkabout on Christmas Day, or if you’ve got any information regarding someone else that might, police are urging you to either contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000, or submit an confidential report via their website.
Man, this is the kind of crime reporting that you can really sink your teeth into.
I mean it’s an escape of some scale.
We assure you it’s real. It’s not a croc of shit.
Etc.
