Kim Jong-un Brought A Private Personal Shitter To The Historic Korean Summit

Hell yeah, we’ve all got our preferred loos to do the business in at work or school; routine is comforting, after all, and sometimes there’s comfort in a familiar spot. But big shout out to Kim Jong-un, who is taking that to an entirely different level by bringing his own personal toilet with him to the historic Korean summit.

As you might be aware, Kim Jong-un made history today by crossing over into South Korean territory, greeting South Korean president Moon Jae-in in the border village of Panmunjom, in the Korean demilitarised zone.

It’s the first time since the Korean war armistice in 1953 that a DPRK leader has physically stepped foot in South Korean territory. The summit continues efforts to de-escalate tensions between the two regions, focusing on Kim Jong-un’s recent vow to suspend North Korean nuclear and long-range missile testing, while closing the nation’s nuclear testing site.

But as you’d expect, security for the DPRK leader is meticulous. Almost anally so, you could say. Because not only is Kim Jong-un refusing to use any of the toilet and bathroom facilities at the summit site, he’s gone so far as to bring his own personal toilet with him to use instead.

That’s right, the North Korean leader will exclusively be laying cable into a North Korea-approved poo hole. And it’s a move designed to protect DPRK national security, would you believe.

The story goes that all of Kim Jong-un’s shits – presumably he does many – are closely guarded national secrets, given that they contain information about his DNA and general overall health. So North Korean officials are keeping them tightly under wraps, where they will transfer them back out of South Korea and away from prying eyes whom wish to view the poo.

Remarkably, it’s all par for the course, apparently.

A 2015 interview in the South Korean-based Daily NK revealed that Kim Jong-un has a Kim John-un in just about every vehicle he travels in. Even cars.

The restrooms are not only in Kim Jong Un’s personal train but whatever small or midsize cars he is traveling with and even in special vehicles that are designed for mountainous terrain or snow. There are multiple vehicles within the convoy so that people cannot tell which one he is in, and there is a separate car that acts as his restroom.

He has.

A separate car.

Just for shits.

An entire vehicle dedicated to the sole purpose of bogging on.

A Poopmobile.

A Holden Commode-or.

A Ford F1-Shitty.

A Subapoo.

Look, the point being here is that it’s funny. A personal car that exists for the Supreme Leader to do his many awful shits in.

That’s First Class travel for you, right there.