News Corp Has Its Cranky Pants On Because Jacinda Ardern Mildly Insulted Alan Jones In 2012

Alan Jones Jacinda Ardern.

It would not be difficult for a reasonable person to look at the life and career of Alan Jones and arrive at the conclusion that he fucking sucks. Based only on the facts, you could easily make the inference that Jones is a tremendous grinning dipshit who has gone mad with power after what feels like centuries of being paid comically large briefcases full of cash to yell into a microphone about whichever minority group is pissing him off on any given day.

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What else can you say about a man who was found by Australia’s media watchdog to have used his position to incite racial violence? A lot, actually — but none of it will capture the essence of just how much he (again) really just fucking sucks. Would calling him a ‘git’ do it? No, no it would not. A git is someone who almost runs you over when you’re crossing the road because they didn’t indicate. Jones is well beyond that. But apparently calling Jones a git is enough to get News Corp in a tizzy — even if you did it 7 years ago.

Remember 2012? Things were different back then. The first Avengers movie was released in cinemas, Jacinda Ardern was an Opposition spokesperson for social development, and Jones was busy suggesting that Julia Gillard’s father, who passed away weeks earlier after a protracted illness, actually died of shame because he “had a daughter who told lies every time she stood for parliament”.

Ardern, still a while away from becoming the Prime Minister of New Zealand at the time, tweeted this in response:

This incredibly mild criticism didn’t cause much of a fuss until just over 7 years later, when Sky News dug it up in an ‘exclusive’ story this morning:

Sky’s dramatic ‘launched a personal attack’ phrasing might be somewhat more suited to comments Jones made about Ardern back in August of this year, in which he called her a “clown” and an “utter lightweight” and implored Scott Morrison to “shove a sock down her throat”. What a chill guy.

Asked about it today, Ardern did not have much to say. “This is a reference to a tweet from seven years ago,” she said. “Of late you’ve seen I’ve not been offering up thoughts or opinions on the issue of Alan Jones. I don’t intend to now.”