Hyper-niche Aussie affirmations pages keep popping up on Instagram for cities and towns around the country, and this is truly the content we’ve been waiting for.
The trend has come off the back of the enormously popular @afffirmations Instagram account, which was launched in Europe on the first day of 2021 and already has over 730,000 followers.
@afffirmations – or Global Self Hypnosis as it’s also known – has become a phenomenon, with people feeling utterly compelled to comment “I CLAIM” beneath posts which read “I Am Big Busy Business Boss,” or something.
Now Aussies are putting their own spin on the sort-of-ironic-but-also-not motivational aesthetic for locales as diverse as Melbourne and the NSW Central Coast.
Here’s your guide to finding your local affirmations page, which we hope brings you nothing but niche, local joy.
Sydney
Sydney has a whopping three affirmations pages: @sydneyafffirmations, @sydneyaffirmations_ and @westernsydneyaffirmations.
They’re the perfect content if you identify with sentiments such as “I AM 5 PERSON CAMPO PICNIC” or “I do control the action.”
Melbourne
The account @melbourneaffirmations has Melbourne on lock when it comes to niche, ironic inspirational posts.
If you’ve ever said to yourself “I ACQUIRE QUALITY VINTAGE PRODUCTS AT BRUNSWICK SAVERS,” then this is the page for you.
Canberra
Even our nation’s leaders can relate to the cursed mantras of the @canberraaffirmations page.
Who amongst us hasn’t looked at the National Carillon and thought “I AM BEAUTIFUL CHIMES”?
Brisbane
People in Brissy have @brisbaneaffirmations. There’s also @queerbrisbaneaffirmations for the girls, gays and theys, and @goldcoastaffirmations is apparently coming soon also.
If you wake up each day and say “I am energetically aligned with Stefan’s Skyneedle,” you are not alone my friend.
Adelaide
South Australia has @adelaideaffirmations for all your local yokel inspirational messages.
You’d think an Adelaide affirmations page would constantly riff off the Mall’s Balls, but instead we’re treated to things like: “I am Burnside Village lifestyle queen.”
Perth
Perth also has two emerging affirmation pages: @perth_affirmations_ and @perth_affirmations.
Nothing embodies the Perth spirit like a gorgeous graphic which reads “I WILL PERSIST like a seagull at Cicerello’s.”
Central Coast
For some reason the NSW Central Coast is home to two affirmations pages: @centralcoastaffirmations_ and @centralcoastaffirmations.
Somehow, the mantra “I WILL NOT BECOME A REAL ESTATE AGENT AFTER SHORT STACK” hits too close to home.
Hobart
The fine people of Hobart have both @hobartaffirmations and @tasmaniaaffirmations to choose from.
I speak for the rest of the country when I say I’m extremely jealous of the “House prices are reasonable” affirmation.
Wollongong
The ‘Gong is apparently a trove of affirmation-worthy content, as demonstrated by @wollongongaffirmations.
I’m sure the police are very grateful for everyone who liked the post: “I DO NOT GO AIRBORNE OVER THE TOWRADGI HUMP.”
Australia-wide
“What about the whole country?” I hear you ask. Well you’re in luck, thanks to @australiaaffirmations.
All you need to know is that the mantra “I AM NATIONAL ANTHEM” is superimposed on top of a pic of The Veronicas. ‘Nuff said.
