Hyper-niche Aussie affirmations pages keep popping up on Instagram for cities and towns around the country, and this is truly the content we’ve been waiting for.
@afffirmations – or Global Self Hypnosis as it’s also known – has become a phenomenon, with people feeling utterly compelled to comment “I CLAIM” beneath posts which read “I Am Big Busy Business Boss,” or something.
Now Aussies are putting their own spin on the sort-of-ironic-but-also-not motivational aesthetic for locales as diverse as Melbourne and the NSW Central Coast.
Here’s your guide to finding your local affirmations page, which we hope brings you nothing but niche, local joy.
They’re the perfect content if you identify with sentiments such as “I AM 5 PERSON CAMPO PICNIC” or “I do control the action.”
The account @melbourneaffirmations has Melbourne on lock when it comes to niche, ironic inspirational posts.
If you’ve ever said to yourself “I ACQUIRE QUALITY VINTAGE PRODUCTS AT BRUNSWICK SAVERS,” then this is the page for you.
Even our nation’s leaders can relate to the cursed mantras of the @canberraaffirmations page.
Who amongst us hasn’t looked at the National Carillon and thought “I AM BEAUTIFUL CHIMES”?
If you wake up each day and say “I am energetically aligned with Stefan’s Skyneedle,” you are not alone my friend.
South Australia has @adelaideaffirmations for all your local yokel inspirational messages.
You’d think an Adelaide affirmations page would constantly riff off the Mall’s Balls, but instead we’re treated to things like: “I am Burnside Village lifestyle queen.”
Nothing embodies the Perth spirit like a gorgeous graphic which reads “I WILL PERSIST like a seagull at Cicerello’s.”
Somehow, the mantra “I WILL NOT BECOME A REAL ESTATE AGENT AFTER SHORT STACK” hits too close to home.
I speak for the rest of the country when I say I’m extremely jealous of the “House prices are reasonable” affirmation.
The ‘Gong is apparently a trove of affirmation-worthy content, as demonstrated by @wollongongaffirmations.
I’m sure the police are very grateful for everyone who liked the post: “I DO NOT GO AIRBORNE OVER THE TOWRADGI HUMP.”
“What about the whole country?” I hear you ask. Well you’re in luck, thanks to @australiaaffirmations.
All you need to know is that the mantra “I AM NATIONAL ANTHEM” is superimposed on top of a pic of The Veronicas. ‘Nuff said.