I’ve Upsettingly Learned Huntsmen Like Living In Giant Communes So Now You Have To See It Too

I actually don’t have a huge problem with the rogue spider. Like, when a huntsman inevitably makes it from the garden onto my bedroom wall, I’m like “oh, hey buddy” and usually just leave it there, as long as it’s nowhere near my face.

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What I do have an issue with, however, are LOTS of spiders. All clambering on top of one another. A heaving pile of spiders. Like this image from the ABC, in an article about the lifestyle of the huntsman spider.

Credit: ABC / Angela Sanders

It’s from Angela Sanders, an ecologist from Bush Heritage Australia, WA. She had timber boxes set up for pygmy possums to make homes in, but found that abomination inside one of them instead.

“On lifting the lids of some, we found many huntsman spiders of all sizes whizzing around inside,” she said, verbalising my literal nightmares.

She says the discovering reveals the living habits of huntsmen, which I just didn’t need to know about and in fact we could all have just existed without knowing, I feel.

“We now know that they’re a species of huntsman that live together, normally under the bark of a tree. In the restored area, tree bark is in short supply at present and they’ve found the wooden boxes suitable. A single adult female lays eggs and the successive generations of siblings help each other out and share prey items. This has several advantages for the spiders, including faster growth. They’re also heavier and healthier.”

HEAVIER. AND HEALTHIER. I know this is a good thing for the ecosystem or whatever the fuck spiders are good for, but Christ I did not need to think about fat fuck spiders whizzing around healthily in my presence, you know? Even if I’m over here in Sydney and this mass of demons is currently in WA.

Credit: ABC / Angela Sanders

Anyway I guess it’s useful information if you feel like breeding a shitload of huntsmen, so you can then release them all into your ex-boyfriend’s house while he sleeps?