One V. Chunky Sea Lion Spent 3 Days Being Totally Lost On Land In Alaska

For the last three days, the township of SitkaAlaska has been graciously playing host to a very lost, very large, Steller sea lion who managed to wander on in from the ocean and then somehow get inexplicably lost.

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Authorities reported that the big boy was spotted by locals at about 2am on Friday, hurtling down the street before taking shelter at an abandoned dormitory near the town’s hospital. When police, firefighters, and local marine experts showed up on Saturday to try and get the stranded animal back into the water, they were impressed by just how big the creature was. Absolute unit. In awe at the size of the lad.

I cannot prepare you for how criminally large this sea lion is. He is a seriously Huge Fella.

LOOK AT THAT THING. He’s a monstrous thing. Imagine that cobber, freaked out of his poor mind, just careening at you at the top speed of a sea lion. Picture that.

Anyway, the team managed to steer the phenomenally big lad toward the water with the assistance of some hoses, but that was not the end of his adventure.

The poor thing freaked out again and bolted into the forest, where he kind of tried to hide.

This man’s hiding attempt is as good as what my cat (who was strictly an outside cat) used to do whenever he snuck inside – hide under a table that only covered his head and believe the very silly theory of “well if I can’t see you, then you can’t see me.”

Thankfully, after three long days of being very bewildered almost a kilometre inland, the rotund ocean puppy was humanely sedated and relocated closer to the water, where he managed to flop himself in and swim back to his home.