Diego Luna Won’t Stop Telling Interviewers He Wants To Touch Jabba The Hut

 

Brand-spankin’ new Star Wars story ‘Rogue One’ has just hit cinemas, smashing through the box office and leaving all other films in a dust cloud bigger than Jedha City. 

While ‘Rogue One‘ is completely fantastic (won’t hear a word of argument on this, thanks), another little snippet of information has made our experience of the first ever Star Wars story approximately 1000x better. 

Diego Luna, who plays Cassian Andor, loves Jabba the Hut. He wants to touch Jabba the Hut. He’d even smooch Jabba the Hut. Yes, with tongue. 

Some absolute genius has cut together a bunch of clips from the ‘Rogue One‘ press tour, and apparently Diego literally just will not shut up about the texture of Jabba’s skin, and how much he wants to touch him. 

WATCH:

let diego luna touch jabba the hutt pic.twitter.com/Xjgwh67SsO

— stardust (@tolkienianjedi) December 19, 2016

I, for one, am thoroughly disgusted at Lucasfilm for denying this brave hero of the Rebellion the chance to touch Jabba. This is so cruel. 

Kathleen Kennedy, GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY CASSIAN ANDOR CAN’T DAMN WELL TOUCH JABBA. 

There’s been… let’s say strong reactions to this truly and utterly wonderful admission from Luna:

@tolkienianjedi I ship Diego and Jabba

— briana (@so_im_bri) December 20, 2016

@tolkienianjedi we should start a campaign to help him touch Jabba!!!

— Sebastián Allan (@AllanSebas1) December 20, 2016

@ben_304 @tolkienianjedi I’m so invested in him getting to touch Jabba

— ??Heya!?? (@kelseyr713) December 20, 2016

Okay @tolkienianjedi i gave diego what he wanted pic.twitter.com/jRjAMp55D4

— Nick Hanover (@Nick_Hanover) December 20, 2016

Diego Luna is very Jabba-curious! https://t.co/c0wKJgNFZU

— Eric Goldman (@TheEricGoldman) December 20, 2016

find someone who loves you the way diego luna loves jaba the hutt https://t.co/yA3NzIHJW9

— dwight snoot (@faithwithanf) December 20, 2016

most men in rotj: leia in that bikini ????

diego luna: jabba the hutt ???? https://t.co/f9OgUX61gC

— antonio (@poefinns) December 20, 2016

no movie publicity tour can ever surpass Diego Luna telling six separate interviewers about wanting to feel Jabba the Hutt’s “skin texture”

— Gavia Baker-Whitelaw (@Hello_Tailor) December 20, 2016

I have just learned of Diego Luna’s deep passion for Jabba the Hutt. I am forever changed. ?? https://t.co/O1aUeW6rx6

— Mala Bhattacharjee (@badnecklace) December 20, 2016

start of 2016: oscar isaac is the internet’s boyfriend
end of 2016: diego luna is jabba the hut’s boyfriend

— charlotte geater ?? (@tambourine) December 20, 2016

Let @diegoluna_ touch Jabba the Hutt 2k17

— Ella (@TheGeekLord) December 20, 2016

This is some red hot bullshit. BULLSHIT. 

So, in the spirit of the rebellion, we must come together as a band of wildly-different outcasts, and fight for what is right. The Empire’s flag flies high, and our basic human rights, such as touching beloved characters from famous film franchises, have been taken from us. But, we live in hope.