This is a headline I always dreamed I would write, but never thought it would be able to. Republican candidate in Virginia’s fifth Congressional district Denver Riggleman has been forced to address claims by his political opponent that he is unbelievably horny for mysterious forest ape Bigfoot. His response? He is interested in Bigfoot, but not horny for him.
Quick recap for those of you not as invested in stories about Bigfoot erotica as I am: Riggleman’s Democratic opponent Leslie Cockburn – who happens to be actress Olivia Wilde‘s mum – made a series of social media posts exposing… unusual posts on Riggleman’s Instagram, which seemed to contain erotic Bigfoot art.
My opponent Denver Riggleman, running mate of Corey Stewart, was caught on camera campaigning with a white supremacist. Now he has been exposed as a devotee of Bigfoot erotica. This is not what we need on Capitol Hill. pic.twitter.com/0eBvxFd6sG— Leslie Cockburn (@LeslieCockburn) July 29, 2018
As many have pointed out, the mere fact that someone gets a little toey for mythical ape monsters isn’t necessarily disqualifying. You can do whatever the hell you like in your private life, as long as its safe and consensual. Far more concerning is the fact that Riggleman has played pretty fast and loose with the kinds of people who has been campaigning alongside – including known white supremacists and members of the far-right.
So maybe being thirsty for Bigfoot is a nice distraction for him. Either way, he’s taken to conservative YouTube show Kibbe on Liberty to clarify that while he is interested in Bigfoot, he is absolutely not horny for him. The video is only 6 minutes long, but it is packed with a lot of insanity and is absolutely worth your time.
In it, he elaborates on the various theories about what Bigfoot is in the enthusiast community – including claims that he is a powerful interdimensional being, a UFO hitchhiker and a psychic rapist. No, I’m absolutely not joking about any of this. He also says that he was at one point writing a novel which posits an alternative history in which JFK was killed because he knew too much about Bigfoot.
Riggleman goes on to say that he “loves the fact that [he] is fighting for the freedom for people to believe in any kind of Bigfoot they want.”
Huh. Okay. Denver Riggleman: interested, but by no means horny.
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