2014 has been the year where we, as a developed people, discovered a curious affinity for the centre of a the Venn Diagram where aesthetics and crimes of moral turpitude intersect.
You might cast your minds back a few months to where a particularly nasty fellow was nabbed on weapons charges and having fine written all over him. With eyes that smouldered so much they could melt the prison bars that penned him in (but not really because lol bad guy), Jeremy Meeks enjoyed a solid week in the limelight as the internet had to collectively fan themselves down just a little bit.
Fast forward to today, and enter: Alysa Suguro. Other than having a surname which is the probable title of an inevitable Wonka-funded opera, Suguro surrendered herself to police in Raleigh, North Carolina on various charges. She was processed and released on bail a few hours later.
Also she’s a giant babe, for whatever that’s worth.
Surrendered myself at 7 a.m., got released at 11:30 a.m. Fuck what you heard. And my mugshot’s cute. #ftp pic.twitter.com/LyqHV7IInm
— A (@_ahleesah) December 1, 2014
In the hours since Suguro’s taken advantage of the ensuing hail of attention, retweeting a smack-load of Tweets that have been coming her way – either offering support, hate, or – more commonly – variations on the phrase “Damn, girl.“
As for what she actually got arrested for in the first place?
@AndyOrte xanax homie.
— A (@_ahleesah) December 1, 2014
Maybe the cops should take a page out of her stolen meds book and chill.
Or, y’know, process the charge as normal because “being a dreamboat” isn’t a mitigating factor.
Either/or.
