Aussie Scientists Are Naming These Fucked Deep-Sea Fish Like They’re Normal

A team of boffins from the CSIRO and Museums Victoria have convened in Hobart to identify and name an array of fish collected from the abyssal waters off Australia’s east coast, and it’s going to be a monumental task: our nation’s scientists exactly can’t use names like ‘Abyssal Hellbeast’ or ‘Fucked Scale Demon’ to describe their catch.

Last year’s Sampling the Abyss voyage took samples from deep, dark zones off the coast, scooping up critters from nearly 5km below sea level. Those fish are now subject to identification, with the end goal of increasing our knowledge of the ecosystems operating on the sea floor.

While over 100 different species have already been identified from the voyage’s catch, some may actually be totally new to the world of science.  The CSIRO reports some of the samples will be sent to specialist teams in Denmark to determine if they are actually are previously undiscovered species.

We wish those teams luck in their endeavours, and we thank them for their efforts in broadening our knowledge of the natural world. At the same time, we curse them endlessly for bringing these monumentally horrific Eldritch creatures up to the surface. Have a gander at this blob fish:

via Asher Flatt / CSIRO

And here’s some kind of, ugh, faceless fish:

via Asher Flatt / CSIRO

And this snappy lizard fish:

via Asher Flatt / CSIRO

Good on the scientists, but it’s a no from us, dawg.