Fuck Me Dead: This Is How Much Rents Have Been Increased By In Our Capital Cities

A report has revealed that rent in Australia has skyrocketed in the last year. In other news, the sky is blue and water is wet.

The report from PropTrack found that rents in Australia’s capital cities have risen by a “staggering” 17 per cent. Great. Cool. Everything’s fine.

Australia-wide, rents have risen from a median price of $465/week last year to $520/week this year. That’s a rise of 11.8 per cent in the last year alone.

“Rental markets continue to be extremely challenging for renters, with rents surging across much of the country amid strong demand and very limited availability,” report author Angus Moore said.

“This is especially true in Sydney and Melbourne, where weekly rents have increased significantly after falling in these cities during 2020 and 2021.”

As someone who lives in Sydney and is contemplating moving to Melbourne, I’m punching the air RN.

Sydneysiders can now expect to put $670/week towards their rent — a 6.3 per cent rise from last year. This isn’t exactly news, especially for those who are struggling to live here. Ah, the price you pay to live in black mould-infested houses where your bestie is a million little cockroaches. Proper Disney princess shit.

Melburnians have it slightly better, with the average rent of a dwelling sitting at a median of $495 — an 7.6 per cent increase in the last year. However, it’s also one of the most affordable capital cities in the country. But (and there’s a big one), rents in Melbourne are also rising faster than any other capital city. So live it up while you can, assholes.

If you’re in Brisbane, you’ll actually pay more than Melbourne hotties, with the average rent sitting at $565/week, a 10.8 per cent increase. Tis the price to avoid seasonal depression!

Unfortunately, Perth babes have copped the largest increase in rental prices, with the cost of dwellings going up by 14.6 per cent. Dear lord. You’ll now pay an average of $550/week for what will likely be a shitty cockroach-infested home. Yay!

Those in Adeliade will now fork out a median cost of $500/week for a rental, which is an 8.7 per cent increase. It’s probs because no one wants to live there (said as someone who used to live there).

For those in Hobart, you’ll be happy (sad) to know that your median rental price is now $570 — an increase of 3.6 per cent year on year.

It’s also bad news for Darwin as folk up north have one of the highest median weekly rents of any capital city, sitting at a hefty $650/week. That’s an increase of 4.8 per cent.

But as for the award of the most expensive city? That’ll have to go to Canberra. Canberrans can expect a weekly median rent of $690/week, an increase of 1.5 per cent. Holy shit. I guess that’s why government folks get paid so much moolah.

Speaking to the Savings Tip Jar podcast, Cameron Kusher, the director of economic research over at PropTrack, said that the rental market will become even more strained this coming year because of the estimated 400,000 migrants that are due to arrive. Great!

“Ultimately, the way to fix what’s happening in the rental market at the moment is to reduce demand. And you either reduce demand by having fewer people come into the country, no one seems to willing to let that be the case,” Kusher said.

“Or you reduce demand by getting more people to buy their first home and stop renting. And it’s very hard to make that leap from renting to owning at the moment because in most instances, paying off a mortgage is more expensive than it is to rent despite the rental growth we’ve had.”

Got it. I would like one (1) house, please!!!

However, report author Angus Moore hints that we might finally have some good news coming our way, with hints that rental growth in Australia more broadly might finally chill the fuck out.

“With rental vacancy rates looking to have stabilised, and growth easing in some capitals, national rent growth may start to slow.”

However, if you’re planning on staying in the city (which is most of us), you’re likely to be up shit creek for a while.

“Rents are likely to continue growing in capitals over the coming months,” Moore said.

“The good news for regional renters is rent growth looks to be moderating after three years of brisk growth,” he continued.

Great, so I guess we’re all moving to fkn Wagga Wagga or something?

You’ve gotta love being a young person these days — we can’t afford to buy a house, and now we can’t even afford to rent one. Lord, give me patience.

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