Company Behind Robot That Drowned Itself Tries To Explain Its Ill-Fated Dip

In response, the internet bellowed a collective “SAME, TBH”.

it must say something about our age that everyone assumes the robot tried to kill itself instead of being murdered or, you know, tripping

— Julia Carrie Wong (@juliacarriew) July 18, 2017

Well, it might shock you to learn that Knightscope, the developers of the robot in question, have been relatively quiet during this entire ordeal. Basically every news organisation on the planet ended up covering it, but its one of those situations where they can’t really capitalise on the publicity, given that their robot seems largely unfit for purpose.

(That said, the concept of a cop robot is entirely horrifying to me, so if they’re going to exist I’m glad they seem mostly inclined towards hurtling directly into water features.)

They came out of the woodwork overnight though, posting a single tweet which doesn’t quite cover the gravity of the situation, if you ask me.

BREAKING NEWS: “I heard humans can take a dip in the water in this heat, but robots cannot. I am sorry,” said K5 in an official statement. pic.twitter.com/nWC4tubv9w

— Knightscope (@iKnightscope) July 18, 2017

This is bullshit, imo. That robot wasn’t going for “a dip”. The robot was consumed by the grotesquery of its own artificial existence and chose the only noble route: self-destruction. The little cartoon inflatable duckie ring doesn’t take away from that fact.

Luckily, other people have had realer reactions to this whole debacle. Someone legitimately set up a small shrine for the deceased droid near a Knightscope sign, proving that there will always be softies who will enable our inevitable march towards a hellish, automated future.

BREAKING NEWS: “I heard humans can take a dip in the water in this heat, but robots cannot. I am sorry,” said K5 in an official statement. pic.twitter.com/nWC4tubv9w

— Knightscope (@iKnightscope) July 18, 2017

Sad!