If you’re one of the absolute few who are, as of this very moment, unaware of the shimmering beam of light that is Chrissy Teigen‘s Twitter feed, now might be the time to finally get on board.
Teigen’s glorious tweets are an array of hilarious quips, a weirdly large amount of gaming content, and relatable foibles. Take, for example, her most recent gripe: The viscosity of Kraft’s bog-standard off-the-shelf mac & cheese.
Kraft makes a “thick and creamy” version of their original mac and cheese but why not just replace the original with it? It’s infinitely better. Yes I have gained 38 pounds so far in this pregnancy thank you for asking
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 14, 2018
Show me the lie.
Above all else, however, Teigen’s Tweeting hours are best used for her own unique brand of pure, unbridled online savagery.
The sweet angel herself has never taken a backwards step at anyone, and has made a (now rather famous) habit of swiping at any fool who winds up in her timeline.
And it doesn’t matter if that person is of current relevance, or hit their peak in the glorious yesteryear of the 90s either.
Case in point, Kevin Sorbo.
Almost definitely a name you haven’t heard in at least 12 years, Sorbo is best known for his role as Hercules in the agonisingly 90s series Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, which ran from 1995 until 1999.
In addition, he is a middle-aged crank and an avowed Trump supporter who uses his online presence to spout fairly store-bought pro-Trump rhetoric.
He also shares multiple titbits from a website called “BigGeekDad.com” which is a whole other discussion for a whole other day.
Sorbo recently Tweeted a combination of words that, if you’re playing right-wing twitter user Bingo, covers just about every box in one hit.
Only in America are legal citizens labeled “racists” and “Nazis,” but illegal aliens are called “Dreamers.”
— Kevin Sorbo (@ksorbs) February 12, 2018
How do you respond to that? Attack the point? Present reasonable and fact-based argument? Attempt to reason with him?
Or do you go for the jugular because you’re a fucking beast on the online?
hot take, boy xena
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 13, 2018
Not that we’re expecting a great Matthew McConaughey-level career renaissance anytime soon, but it’s hard to see Boy Xena recovering from that.