The Probability Of People Skipping This Bride’s Maths-Themed Wedding Is High

Oh Reddit, the gift that keeps giving: today have uncovered a thread from a wedding guest who was not impressed to be asked to dust off their math skills in order to find their spot at the reception.

[jwplayer eRCltLDg]

This is JUST LIKE when an elderly man used to come into the supermarket I worked in at 14 and demanded I spend my shift solving maths equations he carefully wrote out on lined paper. I didn’t enjoy it then, and I don’t enjoy it now.

The Facebook post from the bride explains their concept, which is basically you will all solve your own unique maths equation, or else you’ll have to STAND UP for the entire reception, or wander around listlessly, trying to swipe a glass of wine or crème brûlée off the table of someone smarter than you.

It reads:

Since both ___ and I are mathematicians, our wedding (which is coming up so soon!) will be perfused with mathematical tidbits. For example, at the dinner, guests will be required to answer a mathematical question in order to find out where they sit. Every guest/couple will be presented with a unique, bespoke question: its difficult and subject matter drawn directly from what we know their mathematical background to be.

In fact, a very large number of our guests have research-level mathematical background, so for most of them their question has been drawn directly from their research papers or thesis. It’s been a rather consuming but very entertaining process to look at all kinds of papers that I wouldn’t ever normally look at. Like, for example, set theory!

Image source: Reddit. 

First, how do they know all their guests mathematical backgrounds? Second: this sounds like it’d be heaps easier for couples – just because I’m single I don’t get help with this weird subject I haven’t done beyond simple addition and subtraction for the last ten years? Third: are the bride and groom offering like big wheel-in blackboards so people can go all Good Will Hunting on this?

I think we already said that we hate it. But I want it known I really hate it. It’s a wedding. Everyone’s meant to be getting sloshed, not doing maths, even if that is your hobby/career/something you enjoy.

Anyway responses online are mixed, concluding that this is some low-level Bridezilla shit: some thing this is sweet and thoughtful and perfectly tailored to the couple in question – and it’s nice that they know so much about their guests! And others are less, ugh, that’s so entitled, rude!, and more ‘I hate maths, it makes me anxious, why’. There’s not a lot of malice here.

This is a fairly accurate summation of the vibe on the thread.

Image source: Reddit. 

People understand what the couple are going for – but they also can’t resist maths puns. It’s confusing!

Anyway, here’s an artist’s impression of the every moment of this bride’s special day, because we all know the villains shouting “Nerd!” in ’80s movies wouldn’t be invited to these toight nups: