The 2019 ‘Married At First Sight’ Cast Are Stuck In A Hedge Maze & Can’t Get Out

The first Married at First Sight trailer has landed and oh boy, has the institution of marriage ever meant any less than in this moment?

[jwplayer MEzgMveC]

We see a bunch of bewildered brides and grooms frantically jog (??) around a hedge maze – please dear god say this is shot in Tasmazia, Australia‘s greatest theme park – searching for their forever love. Or their TV forever love. Whatever.

The point here is that these people are trapped in the throws of love, in some weird reality TV The Lobster scenario, except without the stakes.

Over the top of a song from The Greatest Showman, the lonelyhearts gush platitudes about “searching” for “the right person“, being “held back” by fear, and their ticking biological clocks.

These shows basically exist because people fear they’ll die alone, so fuck it, why not give marrying a complete stranger, chosen for you on the basis of ~science~, a go?

According to NW, some of the people in the vid, desperately looking for someone to love them and thus validate their existence, have been on Aussie TV before.

The dude who looks like a character out of a B-grade rom com is an extra on Home and Away, called Sam Ball; the dude in a maroon suit looks like Dino Hira who already tried to woo some rando on First Dates; and Bronson Norrish, an absolute unit from Australian Ninja Warrior.

Earlier this year, the Daily Mail took shots of cricketer Cameron Merchant wedding hairdresser Julie Robinson for the series – and then they were seen ‘avin a flirt, and a laff. It doesn’t look like Merchant’s in the promo, but Robinson does appear to be.

Last month NW reported that the very popular 2018 groom Ryan Gallagher might be returning next year: “They want to bring him in halfway through the season at a dinner party and see if any of the girls ditch their hubbies for him.

Sounds like a fkn car crash, we’re into it.

Conclusion: we are out of proportion pumped to follow these people’s “journeys” on Married at First Sight next year.