Blue Ivy & North West Have Never Had A Playdate, Which Is A Fkn Tragedy

This is Blue Ivy Carter.

A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

The four-year-old daughter of Beyoncé Knowles and Shawn “Jay Z” Carter, she is a queen-in-the-making with a penchant for the dramatic and not a lot of time for her mother’s extreme celebrity.

And this is North West.

Me & my mini me! #MSG #DaddysConcert #vetements #yeezyseason4clearmules

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

The three-year-old daughter of Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West, she is sassier than 99% of human adults, and has been known to shut down paparazzi all on her own.

Clearly, as the offsprings of two of the world’s heavyweight power couples, they should be friends, right? They should be sharing make-believe adventures on their 40-carat gold ponies, right? As they get older, they should be complaining about how Mum is like, soooo embarrassing, and annoyed-but-secretly-kinda-pleased about getting dragged along to another Tidal function. And then they should squash other so-called ‘squads’ under their almighty thumb and emerge as the most powerful power couple the world has ever seen. Right? Right?

Wrong. The two have never even had a play date. What kind of sick world are we living in, anyway?

Kanye West shattered the fanfic dreams of people who have too much time on their hands on Wednesday, when he revealed at his Seattle concert in a rant about Jay Z that “our kids have never even played together”.

It was part of a longer discussion about Jay Z and the streaming wars. Kanye revealed that issues between Tidal (with which he and Jay Z are affiliated) and Apple Music (with which Drake is affiliated) is the reason we *still* haven’t gotten a Yeezy / Drizzy collab album.

“Y’all ain’t get what y’all was supposed to get with me and Drake because of some Tidal / Apple bullshit,” he told the crowd. “This shit go me tight, yo! Every time I perform ‘Niggas In Paris‘, I think about this shit. I think about the politics and the bullshit. I think about how hard I go for music, for art, for y’all, the fans. How hard we go.”

He explained how this Drake drama then led to an issue with Jay Z, who didn’t want his part included on Drake’s track ‘Pop Style‘ because he didn’t want to upset Meek Mill, Drake’s rival and boyfriend of Tidal-affiliated Nicki Minaj. So Kanye and Jay Z are kinda fighting.

“It went into some Tidal / Apple political shit about percentage on songs,” he said. “I can’t take this shit, bro! Our kids have never even played together.”

Which brings us right back round to the real tragedy: Nori & Blue’s non-friendship.


Photo: Getty / Jeff Kravitz & Bauer-Griffin.