Barnaby Flatly Denies He Misused His Ministerial Entitlements For Fucking

Regardless of how fun it is to dig into juicy parliamentary gossip and get the lowdown on who is fucking who in the steamy fuckpit that is our nation’s capital, the real reason we should kick the tin along on the Barnaby Joyce yarn is the possibility that it involved corruption or misappropriation of public funds.

There are still unanswered questions about Joyce and his pregnant partner Vikki Campion – namely whether the deputy prime minister used his ministerial entitlements to facilitate his affair, e.g. using subsidised travel in order to get his fuck on. That would constitute a serious abuse of the office, and goes beyond mere gossip.

In an interview with the Sydney Morning Herald, Barnaby denies that anything of the sort went on. Questioned over his “unusually high” claim of 50 nights of travel allowance, the embattled MP said that it was all above board.

I am and continue to be confident that there has been no misuse of travel or entitlements, nor that any has been or will be found. I base that confidence on the fact that hundreds of inquiries have been made and nothing has been found.

Specifically, Joyce claims that Campion was not his partner in January 2017 when she travelled to the Sunshine Coast to help him prepare for a speech about diseased prawns. Yes, that’s what the speech was about.

It’s unsurprising that a media adviser would come to help you with media on 730 on and a major bio-security outbreak such as white spot. There seems be an attitude from certain sections of the media now that any story is a fact, rather than making the facts stack up as a story. No, get your facts straight before you publish.

As it stands, Barnaby has repeatedly expressed that he has no intention of stepping down from any of his current roles over the debacle, which has thrown an already chaotic government into deeper chaos. Whether or not that commitment has changed over the weekend is probably something we’ll find out after today’s party room meeting.

Read the rest of the Herald’s dispatch on Barnaby here.