Barnaby Joyce Finally Breaks Silence On Hard Hitting Aussie Political Issue: JFK’s Assassination

Father of four and full time politician Barnaby Joyce, who is tasked with tirelessly serving the public of Australia, has broken his silence on the hottest political topic dividing the nation: the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

November 22 marked the 60th anniversary of the historic day when JFK was assassinated in Dallas. And what greater way to mark that day than by listening to Barnaby “I Watched The Matildas Game, Just The Wrong One” Joyce provide his two cents on the conspiracy.

Taking to X (formerly Twitter) to bravely say the things that other people fear to say, Joyce wrote: “65% of a US survey don’t believe the Warren Report that it was only Lee H. Oswald with a dodgy ex military Italian rifle from the 6th floor of the Texas Book Depository 81m away. Nor do I.”

Because if there’s anything Barnaby knows, it’s the importance of shooting straight and with a dodgy old rifle. (Sorry.)

But finally! An Australian pollie willing to speak for the people — provided those people are conspiracy theorists, which, given Joyce’s proud anti-net-zero stance, is safe to assume makes up a noteworthy portion.

Being a person who is not typically known for holding back from going on the odd tangent, Barnaby did elaborate on his suspicion of the JFK assassination story.

“I don’t believe we’ve got the full story,” claimed Barnaby in an interview with The Guardian.

Admitting to The Guardian that he had spent “an awful lot of time, over years and years” researching the subject, the member for New England admitted that the core of his suspicions came down to his own marksmanship.

“It just seems, being a person whose from the country and been in the services, I don’t pretend to be great but I’m a pretty good shot, and I see what was done and I think that’s implausible,” Barnaby rationalised in the most male-brain way possible.

Because if Barnaby doesn’t reckon he could have shot JFK, then nobody could have. This is a peak boy math moment.

“You start asking the question, 81m in marksmanship, and not just hitting the target but to anticipate the movement, it’s moving. The whole thing never stacked up. If there are other people involved, it’s one of the greatest miscarriages of justice and crime of all time.”

I gotta say, on a scale of best Barnaby Joyce moments, this is probably up there with that time he went on a bonkers Christmas Day rant where he stated he “doesn’t want the government anymore” in his life.

It’s hard to tell which is a bigger mystery: how something got into JFK’s head, or how things get into Barnaby’s.

Barnaby recently hosted a bush-doof wedding with partner Vikki Campion, whom he scandalously got together with in an affair which made headlines across the country in 2018.