Here’s Every Freedom Coming To NSW Today, Including Getting Low To Pitbull At The Clubs

nsw opening up november 8

As we know, those sweet December 1 rule changes that we were all waiting for have been moved to November 8, which is *checks notes* today! Bring on the vertical consumption and poorly-lit dancefloors.

In a press conference on November 2, NSW Premier, the holy and sanctimonious Dominic Perrottet, announced that fully-vaccinated mates will be getting some hot new freedoms today, while those of us who aren’t vaxxed will have to wait until the very end of the year.

If you can’t be bothered to do the maths, today’s freedoms come three weeks earlier than expected, which is fkn wild. Time to kiss vaccinated strangers on the dancefloor as Mother Nature intended for me.

Here are all the new freedoms that come into action today:

  • No limit on the number of people in your home.
  • No rules for outdoor gatherings with fewer than 1,000 people.
  • Businesses to operate under a 1 person per 2 square metre rule.
  • Nightclubs to be able to reopen their sticky dance floors.
  • Drinking while standing (vertical consumption) is allowed in all venues.
  • No booking limits! Table of 30 please, sir.
  • Indoor swimming pools are back open for everyone.
  • No caps on people allowed in hairdressers, beauty salons, nail salons etc.
  • No caps on weddings and funerals (in line with venue rules, of course), but stricter rules for the unvaxxed attending.

However, you should keep in mind that face masks in indoor settings, excluding offices, are still required until December 15, or 95% double dose, whichever comes first.

Unvaccinated people in New South Wales (y’all have had plenty of time now) will have to wait until December 15, or 95% double dose as well to claim the same freedoms given to us fully-vaxxed hotties.

I’m looking at you, estranged cousins and aunties who are still unsure about getting vaccinated (lol).

“We have exceeded our expectations and because of that we are able to make some prudent changes that allow people who are fully vaccinated to be able to do more things slightly earlier,” said Jobs Minister Stuart Ayres.

“But we will also take that same prudent decision by just holding back unvaccinated people for another couple of weeks.

“It’s in line with the decision we made around not allowing people to travel into regional NSW until we had slightly higher rates of vaccination,” he continued.

“There is a really clear message here. We want to get to 95 per cent and encourage people to go out to get vaccinated.”

Hopefully, the fact that freedoms for the unvaxxed won’t open up till Dec 15 will convince your conspiracy theorist friends and family to get the bloody jab already. Let’s all have the Hot Vax Summer that we deserve, okay?