It’s the most wonderful time of the year, my friends. Even though we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in Australia I’m still extremely prepared to give an incredible amount of thanks to all the very good, and wildly handsome, boys and girls of the National Dog Show in the US.
This year a sleek Whippet by the name of Whiskey narrowly beat a gorgeous fluffy-butted Corgi to the spot of top dog – which sent people on Twitter into a right tizzy – but let’s take a moment to recognise that every single one of these dogs are perfect and beautiful and entirely deserving of all of our love and attention and belly rubs.
So here are some of the top-notch pups from the 2018 National Dog Show. You’re welcome.
Here’s the big winner of the day, Whiskey. Look at him! So sleek, so pure, so svelte. I love my whippy son.
The amount of joy that this young bloke has that he and his best mate got a run today is unfathomably pure.
Here’s Bella, the perfect corgi that everyone wanted to win. And how could you not? Look at that face, those ears, the perfectly fuzzy paws. She’s a good girl.
I mean COME ON.
Look I’m not too sure if this is a dog or an Ewok, but it’s cute as shit regardless. It’s like a fluffy little loaf of bread that somehow became sentient and glides across the floor, hoovering up little snacks along the way.
I have no idea what’s happened to this Yorkie but hot damn it’s seen some real shit.
Of course, there’s also all the dogs who are a) infinitely better looking than me b) have better hair than me and c) make me feel inferior in literally every way.
Like this impossibly gorgeous Afghan hound.
Or this Lhasa Apso (???)
this dog has better hair than u pic.twitter.com/Kn2syq70bw— NBC Sports (@NBCSports) November 22, 2018
Seriously though, how can this Dougal–lookin binch even see where it’s going?
Or this stunning pooch, a Nederlandse Kooikerhondje (I know) who understands the importance of timing when you realise someone is admiring you from afar.
Bandit how dare you do me like this.
How about this absolutely, impossibly PERFECT Golden Retriever who I’m about 80% sure is actually not real and just some absolute dog-shaped mirage or a hallucination. Has someone delved into my dreams and plucked my perfect dog out of there? HOW ARE YOU REAL AND ALSO HOW DO I GO ABOUT PATTING YOU FOREVER?
Seriously, is that Mr Peanutbutter or something? I refuse to believe this dog is a real animal.
Also, would you just LOOK at the huge mood displayed by this toy poodle? Looking like me when there’s the slightest hint of humidity outside.
This toy poodle straight up showed its whole ass to the camera in the lineup, a truly powerful move which I must applaud.
Easily the highlight of the whole event was this longhaired chihuahua, who just goes like a pocket rocket but also tried to get some pity points from the judges.
I can’t get over how fucking FUNNY this dog is when it runs. Legs that go off like a frog in a sock.
It’s a tiny fluffy white ball of pure fury. LOOK AT THAT FACE.
We are truly blessed for the yearly pup parade that quite easily puts the big inflatable event outside to shame. This is the real good and true holiday content that I, a simple dog-loving idiot from Australia, can get behind. They’re good dogs, friends, and we do not deserve them.