I thought we’d filled today’s trivial celeb news quota but reports that Tottie Goldsmith – 48 year old actress, singer and former sex symbol – was allegedly caught with drugs, believed to be cocaine, at Victoria’s Hot Barbeque last Saturday are just too compelling to resist. Recapping. Thanks to a nostalgic sniffer dog, Tottie Goldsmith was allegedly caught with drugs, believed to be cocaine, at Victoria’s Hot Barbeque festival last Saturday.

18 year olds everywhere are like what’s a Tottie Goldsmith? 48 year olds everywhere are like what’s a Hot Barbeque Festival? Cognitive black holes everywhere. Which reminds us, when we’re 48 we promise to A) Never get caught with drugs at a dance music festival and B) Never get caught at a dance music festival. This we solemnly swear.

UPDATE: Tottie has shirked all responsibility by evoking the Andy Clemmensen defence. Seems like a nefarious friend was to blame, or so says a statement released this afternoon:

Tottie wishes to express her total disapproval and embarrassment that drugs belonging to other people were found in her beach bag. The drugs were not hers nor were they for her use,” the statement read. “She thanks Victoria Police for their professionalism and courtesy and strongly encourages them to continue the fight to protect the youth of Victoria.

Seemingly related: According to Wikipedia Goldsmith has released “two meditation and relaxation CDs called “Unwind Your Mind” and “Falling Asleep”“.