First things first, there’s embarrassing footage of every single one of us in compromising positions archived somewhere; footage that’ll inevitably come back to haunt us once we secure our rightful place in the fast lane. 

Mine’s in a high school hard drive, yours is most likely in The Cloud and Iggy Azalea’s is embedded both below and onto the surface of your retinae for the term of your natural life now that you’ve watched the Official Music Video for ‘Nothing Like Me’ – a saccharine, production line standard pop song written with absolutely zero self-awareness and recorded long before Iggy – sans Southern drawl – made her now historic segue into the lucrative Murda Bizness.

It’s like a drunk JJ Abrams directed a ‘Womaniser’ x ‘Gimme More’ pastiche. It’s wonderful.