Swaghili-versed soothsayer Kanye West has reportedly been named as a felony attempted robbery suspect following a TGIF kerfuffle outside LAX, in which West tried to wrest a camera away from a pest paparazzo to whom he issued the following prescient warning:
“You’re trying to get me in trouble… so I’ll have to pay you, like, $250,000.”
TMZ are reporting that the minor altercation has now been transferred to the Robbery Homicide Unit, a specialised unit investigating relevant crimes of robbery and homicide, where “cops are currently putting a file together”.
Following the incident, the paparazzo – known on The Street as Dano – was hospitalised after receiving treatment from paramedics who were “rushed to the scene” to examine “injuries [to his hip sustained] during the attack”; injuries resulting from the part where he resigned himself to his vehement self-loathing, surrendered control of his limbs and assumed the fetal position – a common woodlouse balled at the feet of a giant pay-check. The case will now allegedly be referred to the LA County District Attorney as a felony attempted robbery matter, having overnight been upgraded from ‘battery’ to ‘bat shit’.
Per TMZ, the incendiary Dano is also the same pap who was implicated in the Britney Spears umbrella incident of 2007.
Dano later sold the dented car and umbrella on eBay for $30,000 – pittance for a entrepreneurial performer of his ilk.
via TMZ
Photo: Timothy A. Clary via Getty
