Whilst everything around us caught fire and burned to the ground in 2017, The Very Very Bad Year ™, one thing that offered some momentary respite from the ceaseless horrors was the litany of juicy tunes that poured forth towards our earholes in the past 12 months.
It’s been a YUGE year for ordered air vibrations friends, and whilst many peeps are currently pouring over their musical past, compiling data and concocting subjective end of year song lists, we thought we’d go down a different path and stroll through the tunes that abso-bloody-lutely DOMINATED life on Earth in 2017.
These are the inescapable tunes from the past year that took on an almost ubiquitous quality in our day-to-day lives, jumping out at you from Uber radios, supermarket playlists, TV ads, dance floors and worst of all, your housemates incessant humming.
Ed Sheeran – Shape Of You
Ed. Bloody. Sheeran. Far be it from us to figure out how an utterly average English bloke with a passing ability to sing and play guitar became 2017’s most pervasive artist but hey, here we are.
Now we’re not saying Ed Sheeran sucks, he’s completely palatable and enjoyable, much in the way a nice sandwich is, but it honestly is mind-blowing how he consistently topped every chart across the world this year, even breaking the ARIA record for longest held #1.
Shape Of You was EVERYWHERE. Even just hearing those opening bars has us breaking out in hives. Ah well, it least it wasn’t as heinous as that Irish-lilting one where he raps *shudders*.
Niall Horan – Slow Hands
The wee lil’ bebe One Directioners are all grown up and this past year saw pretty much all former members of the iconic boyband forging out on their own and dropping swear words like there was no tomorrow.
One of the most surprising releases from the ex-1D’ers was erstwhile “cute blonde one” Niall Horan and his smooth AF single Slow Hands, which took over airwaves in early 2017.
Sure it’s not exactly a thumping d-floor filler but the cruisy, sultry vibes of the Irish crooner’s newy just felt good and warm and lovely and ensured it stayed around for a solid portion of the year. (P.S: you can win some VIP tickets to Niall’s Oz tour via Mastercard Debit Rewards here.)
Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber – Despacito Remix
Heralded as the “Song of the Summer” in the Northern Hemisphere, us antipodeans instead had to deal with this omnipresent Bieber-backed tune in the midst of our chilly months, which kinda dampened its carefree tropical vibes, but definitely not its insane reach.
Thanks to JB, Despacito, by the previously unknown Puerto Rican Luis Fonsi went off tits all around the world, with millions of people all coming together to absolutely mangle the Spanish language in a borderline offensive manner.
Yes, we all heard you say the word “burrito” whilst trying to sing it, don’t deny it.
Taylor Swift – Look What You Made Me Do
New Taylor Swift music is always, ALWAYS, going to be a huge deal, but unforch for your girl Tay Tay, 2017’s release of her latest album Reputation wasn’t exactly met with the formidable praise she’s so used to.
First single Look What You Made Me Do still surged across the globe and got a butt load of airplay (and an ARIA #1 spot), but Swifty’s newfound speak-rap approach to singing, as well as some lacklustre follow up singles, left many nonplussed.
Also if we can never hear Taylor Swift say “the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now…” ever again, that’d be just swell. Cheers.
Lorde – Green Light
Kiwi prodigy Lorde’s return to the musical world was always going to be a big deal and not only did Ella assuage any fears of second album blues, she one-upped herself entirely with a record brimming with bangers.
Melodrama’s debut single Green Light is a masterpiece of modern pop and rightfully was featured endlessly on mainstream and indie radio as well as any bluetooth speaker connected to anyone under 40’s playlist.
If you want to know how god damn far the reach of this song has gotten before the year is even out, simply look to the fact that Channel 9 recently used Green Light as the backing song for their TV advertisements for The Ashes.
You know you’ve got cross-market appeal, when they’re using you to hype people up about cricket…
Dua Lipa – New Rules
Although only having dropped fairly recently compared to others on this list, Dua Lipa has quickly cemented herself as the next big pop ~thing~ with the boppy, fun as hell New Rules.
Even if you don’t know this song, you KNOW this song. As we enter an Aussie summer this tune is currently at peak saturation, meaning you have absorbed it’s potent powers somehow. Probably at Woolies.
Harry Styles – Sign Of The Times
If you copped a listen to this tune from everyone’s favourite One Direction boi (I’ll hear nothing otherwise) earlier this year and thought for a moment you had perhaps traversed through time and awoken in the past, you’re not alone.
Sign Of The Times ushered in Harry’s solo time in the spotlight, and perhaps due in part to its melding of 70s/80s/90s rock pastiche, stuck around for most of the early half of 2017, it’s billowy piano notes and juiced up guitar rises, seemingly seeping out of every corner.
The rest of the album was also an absolute pearler, but there’s something about Sign Of The Times that had true staying power. Which is great cause it meant we got to look at Harry Styles face a WHOLE lot this year.
Peking Duk – Fake Magic
Rowdy local dance duo Peking Duk have been littering Aussie airwaves with contagious, upbeat bangers for a couple of years now and 2017’s serve of hot FIYAH came with a side dish of stunningly talented vocalist AlunaGeorge.
And holy crap did it take off, with Fake Magic arguably THE song of Splendour in the Grass 2017, as well as snaking it’s way into many a DJ set across the country’s clubs.
I can even see this bouncy beast of a tune sticking around for the impending booze and beach season as well as getting close to a single digit spot on next year’s Hottest 100.
HAIM – Want You Back
Not all of the inescapable songs of 2k17 were balls-to-the-wall dance tunes though, with angelic sister outfit HAIM bringing this rollicking guitar-pop jam to the world’s ears.
Want You Back is pure, unadulterated HAIM, with the girls’ effortless interplaying vocals given centre stage to do what they do best: win us the hell over.
A much-needed respite from snoresville Sheeran and co., HAIM brought the upbeat vibes to a year so desperately needing it.
Kendrick Lamar – HUMBLE
Every year I find that there’s one song that seeps into the cultural collective so succinctly that any mention of its title in unrelated conversations, is quickly followed by someone busting out a verse.
Much like last year’s Work by Rihanna, anyone in 2017 using the word “humble” was legally required to follow it up with “bitch be humble” a la Kendrick Lamar’s global smash.
Helped out by an Apple Music TV advertisement, a couple of solid live performances at awards ceremonies and due to the fact it is quite simply A HUGE BLOODY TUNE, Humble was, deliciously, everywhere.
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In addition to the Niall Horan comp and the GiggedIn offer, Mastercard Debit Rewards is also dropping some mad discounted tickets to Katy Perry’s 2018 Witness Tour! Check it out here.
