Hmm, weird: apparently shoving random junk up your hooha in the name of alternative medicine… isn’t a good idea?
The latest in the modern chronicles of You Put What Up Where?! is this nigh-inexplicable “traditional remedy” that’s recently surfaced on Etsy, of all places, which encourages women to put ground-up oak galls in or around their vagines.
What is an oak gall, you ask?
Oh, just your standard-issue paralysing horror from the natural world in which a wasp deposits a larva in the bark of an oak tree, and the oak responds by growing a round spur around it.
shove ‘er up me, Doc!
For some reason, at some point in history, someone decided that these things would be really good at tightening up the old downstairs post-childbirth, and that’s what the current batch of Etsy charlatans are spruiking it for – specifically, to “restore the elasticity of the uterine wall” and “improve [your] sex life“.
Which like… no. Sure, putting any dry powdery stuff in your most sacred hole will make it feel tighter – it will also make it irritated, and intimately uncomfortable, and will also possibly make you more prone to HIV and other STIs thanks to making the skin more susceptible to abrasions.
Cool!
In case it’s not abundantly clear, putting any random bullshit in your pussy is a very fucking bad idea (looking at you, Gwyneth Paltrow). As Dr Jen Gunter outlines on her blog, all a “natural remedy” like this is gonna do is dry your bits out and possibly give you a nasty infection:
“Don’t put dried up wasp’s nest in your vagina. I feel pretty confident in offering that up as medical advice.”
You heard the doctor. DON’T.
Yeesh.
Source: Daily Star.
Image: Getty / Hero Images.
