While Christmas is definitely the season for hard workers to let their hair down and breathe, it’s coincidentally the same time employees across Australia make some ~questionable~ decisions.
And usually, it all comes to a head at the work Christmas party.
We’ve all been there – you indulge just a tad too much at your work function, dressed in head-to-toe Christmas garb.
Now look, no one’s throwing judgement around. I’m perhaps the only person who’s legally not allowed to judge other people, but onwards and upwards, ey?
Here’s what you can do to ensure your next work party goes down without a hitch.
1. Think before you drink
Pick a type of liquor, and stick to it.
That’s just rule #1 of my 20 rules regarding alcohol and work functions. Given I don’t want to be a stone-throwing glass house, I won’t list them all, but there is a way to be more aware of what you’re drinking.
I highly suggest going for those non-alcoholic replica cocktails or even drinks that are lighter on the alcohol, whether it’s to space out your alcoholic drinks, switch them out completely or just to mix it up.
Your hands will still be busy with a glass or a cup so you won’t get fidgety, plus your liver and future self won’t despise you.
My no-grog drink of choice? The classic Angostura Lemon, Lime & Bitters.
Or, if you want to get fancy with some grog that tastes so delightful that you have no choice but to savour it and drink it slowly, I highly recommend this bad boy:
That right there, my friends, is what people call a Reverse Martinez.
Rohan Massie, Angostura Brand Ambassador, has the recipe for it right here:
- 45ml Blanc Vermouth
- 20ml Dry Gin
- 5 dashes Angostura orange bitters
- Stir all ingredients in a mixing glass (you can use the glass from your coffee plunger or even a pint at a stretch)
- Strain into a chilled martini glass and garnish with a citrus twist, grapefruit is wonderful!
2. Make wholesome plans for afterwards
This serves as both a great way to monitor your behaviour as well as a foolproof excuse to slip out of the party without raising too many questions.
Simply plan a nice movie/knitting/chess/hair-braiding night with friends outside of your job, and tell them you’ll be there by 8pm.
When it gets to 7:30pm, start making a fuss about how your friends are narcs who always yell at you for being late, slip into your uber and drive away from the office chaos you’ve undoubtedly left behind.
3. Squash any issues pre-party
There’s nothing worse than waking up to the memory that you had beef with a coworker.
If you know that there’s tension with someone you work with, see if you can resolve that tension before alcohol gets involved.
It might not even be something that major but, as we all know, Christmas parties tend to exacerbate everything. So, it’s better to be on the safe side and put a kibosh on any inter-office conflict before it spirals.
4. Don’t shoot your shot
Trust me, if there’s one time to hit on someone, it’s not at the Christmas party.
Yes, perhaps your temporarily impaired mind, body and soul are all telling you that this is the perfect time in the history of the universe to finally take the leap of faith, but I assure you that you’re leaping straight off a cliff.
If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen when you’re both sober and sorted.
5. For the love of god, eat
Okay, forget my other rule #1, this is rule #1: eat something.
Drinking, whether it’s a little or a lot, can be a tricky road to travel down. I suggest that you don’t increase the risk-factor ten-fold by doing so on an empty stomach.
I know this is a lot to digest, but if you want to get more in tune with yourself, you’re in luck.
PEDESTRIAN.TV is throwing Selfish Saturday, an entire festival on Feb 22 dedicated to self-care, and you best believe that includes looking after your liver.
Along with The House of Angostura’s ‘Better Mix’ Bar (which includes alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks), there’ll be a tonne of live music, a sex ed workshop, manifestation chats with Flex Mami and a tonne more.
Scope out the entire festival at pedestrian.tv/selfish – you deserve a treat.
