I wanted to be the one to remind you that you’re not alone.
I’ve been called many names. And I’ll be honest; I have let the names rock my self-confidence. I wanted to tell you that although it can sometimes feel that there is a lot of hatred, there is also a lot of goodness.
I know that the positive can get drowned out by one negative voice but I’ve learnt that the boos usually come from the cheap seats too.
I have put way too much importance on the way I look physically. I’ve let it become a reflection of who I am as a person. I guess I have believed that being beautiful physically is important. I am assuming that you might have the same beliefs.
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From my middle teens, I can remember there being many people with harsh and nasty words to say to me that brought me to a darker place. It seemed that there was a common theme, I was ugly. Not beautiful. Fundamentally lacking. It became a belief system for me. I was unattractive.
When I got onto Instagram 7 years ago, I never thought that strangers would randomly accost me. As my following grew though, it seemed that almost every day somebody had something to say about my appearance. Never about my values, my intelligence, the way I wrote or the ideas I expressed. Only ever about the way my face looked.
It used to hit me hard. It felt like it was a pain in my heart. In my soul even. It hit me because I had hidden the thought, the belief, deep down in me that I was not pretty. And to be honest, up until then I was under the impression that pretty was what a girl needed to offer.
What I want to tell you is this; happy, emotionally developed, aware, empathetic and compassionate humans don’t attack others. They don’t knowingly inflict pain. They don’t attack people face to face and they definitely don’t attack them behind the disguise of a computer screen.
Your self-worth comes from you. It doesn’t rely on the acceptance, praise or love given to you by other people (though that can be nice). Your worth has little (if anything) to do with the way you look physically.
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Your sense of self is a beautiful thing because it relies only on who you believe yourself to be. You get to work it out for yourself. The others, they’re just background noise.
The only people who really get to help you with knowing who you are, are those who have an unconditional love for you and I can assure you, those people aren’t strangers on the internet.
I think it’s truly important for you to recognise that the way people treat you is not a reflection of your value to the world but rather, the way people treat you is a reflection of their relationship with themselves. If you can look at it this way, you’ll be free.
There’s a chance that you’ll receive nasty comments online, maybe you already have. I want you to know that the person who wrote it doesn’t like who they are either.
The greatest armour that you have against those who wish to bring you down with their words is an enduring love for yourself. Work on that and you’ll be invincible.
If you’re being beauty cyber-bullied, don’t be afraid to reach out. Not sure what to do? Rimmel London’s toolkit here can be helpful in showing you how to approach the situation.