Hello to my basic binches who cannot for the life of them fathom how preferential voting or elections or anything even vaguely related to the word “senate” works. Know that you are not alone, that big words were not made for beautiful people like us, and that voting is still possible for our smooth brains. Just remember this hot tip from the Greens: “put assholes last”.
Look, I get it, elections are complicated. It is literally my job to know how all this fancy stuff works and I still lose a year off my life whenever someone mentions the word “preferential”. Alexa, play TikTok audio “Please leave me alone”.
But that being said, it is actually really important everyone knows how to vote — because if I have to live through another three years of reporting on Scott Morrison‘s constant foot-in-mouth disease I’m gonna need workers comp.
We actually have a guide to preferential voting here and you can scroll through our smooth-brain-friendly election coverage here. BUT if your attention span has reached its limit, here’s a hot tip to remember when head empty, no thoughts: “put assholes last”.
At least, that’s how the Greens have summarised their how-to for voting. Not gonna lie, it’s a very easy way to remember how to vote.
The party’s new slogan is part of the launch of their own voting site which shows people which order to number parties in their specific electorate if they want to support the Greens.
A quick disclaimer here: we’re not telling you to vote Greens, or to vote for whoever is recommended on their site. However: if you haven’t voted for or aren’t sure what a correctly filled ballot paper looks like, checking out their website would show you what it’s meant to look like.
Basically, here’s what to do when voting time comes: if you’re numbering your candidates, let’s say from 1 to 6 for example, put the people you love at #1, and work your way down until you’ve placed the ones you really don’t (AKA the assholes) at #6. A power-ranking of you who you would prefer to lead us, if you will.
“Put assholes last”. Great advice both for Election Day and also just in general — no more prioritising assholes! I mean, unless we’re talking the literal kind, those are fine if that’s what you’re into.