Partaking in a race to consume a juicy red apple with no hands and with the assistance of another person whilst bathed in the city’s moonlight.
Making like Disney’s Aladdin and flying through the sky using a spanking motion as a means of propelling and steering.
Controlling the action’s of a virtual stripper as he/she grinds up and down a pole.
These aren’t the questionable plot lines of a D-grade porn movie nor are they the lame sexual fantasies of a hormone-charged teenage boy. The descriptions above in fact outline 3 of 35 tasks offered to the players of a new video game called “We Dare” that is being launched on March 3 for Playstation 3 and Nintendo Wii. Check it out:
As you can see in the game trailer above, the concept of “We Dare” requires players to engage in what-could-be-interpreted-as raunchy or sexually-suggestive group actions; and yet the game has actually been classified with a PG-rating by the Federal Government’s censorship board and thus determined – rather surprisingly – suitable for children. Considering the infamously stringent stance and pro-censorship ideology actioned by Australian bodies including the the Classification Board, Advertising Standards Bureau and the Labor Government, the recommended PG rating for “We Dare” seems at odds with the Classification status quo.
In regards to the We Dare rating, the Classification Board acknowledged the “sexual tone” of the game but said its sexual references were “mild” and “discreetly implied and justified by context”. Context ay?
Of course, we personally take no issue with a video game that is essentially over-the-clothes slap and tickle (although it’s probably not for our friends in the Under-10s age bracket). The problem here is the Australian government’s contrary attitude to exactly what kind of material constitutes ‘offensive’, ‘restricted’, ‘mature’, ‘high in impact’, ‘unsuitable’, etc. Case in point, the Classification Board recently made the decision to ban the latest title in one of the world’s most celebrated video game franchises, Mortal Combat. The ninth edition to the lucrative – some would say awesome – series was issued a “refused classification” rating, which simply means it cannot be sold in Australia. The End.
According to the Sydney Morning Herald, the Board explained that “highly detailed violence” was the key reason for its decision and took particular exception to the game’s “fatalities” – which are special finishing moves unique to each character performed at the end of a fight. The game includes over 60 of these “fatalities” which contain graphic and supposedly “unnecessarily realistic” depictions of dismemberment, decapitation, disembowelment and you get the drift. Basically it’s the kind of stylised fictional violence you see in movies like Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill or Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez’s Sin City – except of course all the characters have the ability to turn into animals and babies. In other words, it’s pure fantasy.
And yet the Classification Board has written it off as inappropriate for consumption because… Why? Is it because people who play the game will likely end up engaging in socially unacceptable behaviour like dismembering, decapitating or disemboweling friends or strangers? [Note: the relationship between exposure to violent video games and aggressive behaviour and committing violent crimes has been empirically studied time and time again, and results consistently suggest a weak correlation.]
So what does the Classification Board’s PG approval of We Dare versus their outright ban of Mortal Kombat mean? That they endorse actin’ a ho but being a Ninja is definitely not cool? According to the (sarcastic but kind of fair) rationale in the paragraph above, the Board has gotta be of the opinion that people who play “We Dare” will be impelled to engage in the behaviours portrayed in that game too – spanking, kissing, stripping and grinding in groups and with various partners, right?
Melodrama aside, it’s no wonder kids and parents get confused about this kind of shit – it’s bloody confusing! It’s confusing because the whims of the Classification Board are vague and inconsistent. It’s confusing because different forms of entertainment are seemingly subject to different systems and criteria of classification. Moreover, Australia still doesn’t apply the R18+ rating for video games, so any game that is found to be unsuitable for 15-year-olds is automatically banned from sale.
Our sympathies then to fans of Mortal Kombat who will have to obtain the video game by other means – probably illegal. Maybe in the meantime you can try out We Dare – the game that promises 35 games of “flirty fun for all” that the whole family can enjoy. In their defence, a spokeswoman for the game’s publisher Ubisoft said We Dare would be sold with a “parental discretion advised” sticker.
One thing is for certain. Family games night will never be the same.
Written By Jess Glass
