It saddens me greatly that it is against the backdrop of Raf Simons’ ready to wear debut for Christian Dior that today’s Telegraph contains a very important column announcing Brynne Edelsten’s misguided intention to pursue a career in (lowercase ‘f’) fashion. According to her website she’s already a ‘fashion entrepreneur’, so go figure.
Edelsten appears to be entertaining the prospect of an ill-advised design career not as a means to convey any discernible talent, nor out of any real necessity or financial imperative, but simply because “a lot of Australian designers haven’t offered to work with me because I wear things that are out there and they might not want to be associated with me. I get a lot of bad press.”
It would appear that necessity is also the mother of invention where ostrich feathers, Goodrem weaves and low-cut sequin encrusted boob shelves are concerned, because Edelsten has already “met a couple of Melbourne designers and [she] might start my label with them. It would have to be crazy and over the top. There will definitely be some streamlined pieces, because it sells, but with my edgy touch to it. I have so many ideas. It’s a matter of where do I start?”
Arts vs Commerce, Le Brynne. The real housewife’s eponymous reality series My Bedazzled Life is set to debut on Channel 7 next week on Thursday October 4th at 7:30pm. Here’s the official synopsis via TV Tonight:
With exclusive access to their properties scattered around the world – including a spectacular condo at the Palazzo Versace on the Gold Coast, along with private jets, countless prestige cars, luxury boats, designer wardrobes and 150 million dollar fortune – the cameras are there for the jaw-dropping highs while shopping for an island resort to the lows and challenges that married life can sometimes bring as Brynne goes about her everyday life. Throughout the series Brynne introduces viewers to her beloved puppy Juddy and her family and friends, including her mother Mariel with whom she shares an incredible bond. We also see her take on the challenges of embarking on an acting career and witness her stage debut while she juggles her obligations as a millionaire wife.
I can’t wait to see all of the kissing and all of the fashions from The Haus of Edelsten. Here’s a sneak peak (or the full monty) of what we can expect from Brynne’s Red Carpet Couture aspirations and concurrently a glimpse at My Bedazzled Hot Mess, as per red carpet appearances from the last six months.
Episode 01: Brynne practices her needle skills by sewing all her left-over teeth whitening strips into the train of her dress and repurposing velvet curtains from the Palazzo Versace into a jacket the colour of a bowel evacuation that only a withered creep could love. Naturally, Geoffrey is thrilled. Thrifty!
Episode 02: Brynne embraces her inner beige and tests the capacity for filler in her lips. Her smile is likened to tracing the circumference of a balloon with a machete; in that this shit could burst at any minute. Geoffrey loses a fight with a tin of blackboard paint and a can of St. Tropez, falls face first into a marble hot tub.
Episode 03: I can’t even with this uric yellow shirt-tie combo. I just can’t. And again with the beige, Brynne?
Episode 04: Brynne shatters a mirror from her vanity, again thriftily repurposes it into a barely there bustier to wear to the Brownlow Red Carpet. Consoles herself with thinking she must’ve already used up her allotted seven years of bad luck when she married Geoffrey, but is quickly dismayed to learn she has only been married for three years. Is even more so disconcerted when she can’t figure out how many years of bad luck she has remaining.
Episode 05: Series axed/I’ve stopped watching.
Photo by Scott Barbour, Quinn Rooney, Graham Denholm and Robert Prezioso for Getty Images Entertainment
