The Hemsworth Dad Is A Fucking Rig-And-A-Half So Here’s A Thirsty Yarn About Him

Before anyone starts with the “uhurrhurr imagine if this was a woman you were writing about” – no, reverse sexism is not a thing, bc privilege/oppression etc go Google it.

Now let’s get down to business – ogling Chris and Liam Hemsworth‘s dad.

This is the man who fathered two of the hottest Aussie film stars in existence. He is also a rig and a half and can get it. Also his name is Craig which is just such a perfectly Aussie name. It’s a dad name. It’s the name of a hot dad, is what it is. All Craig’s over 40 – DILFs. Fact.

I’ve made up a story about Craig’s life, do you want to hear it? SURE YOU DO. He has a really nice bungalow style house near the beach. He gets up every morning at 6am and he takes the two doggos down for a run along said beach (shirtless, mildly oiled up, shush it’s my fantasy) and then goes to one of those beach-side free exercise equipment thingies for a bunch of bicep reps and some ab work. Then, back home for a nice brekkie of muesli and fruit salad with his wife, where they chortle over how successful their kids are and how they’ve raised Hollywood royalty.

In short, he’s living his best life. I want to be Craig’s wife and yet I also just want to be Craig.

You know what else is fun, is looking at pics the Hemsworth brothers upload of him as a young whipper-snapper.

Everything about that photo is a vibe, but the vibe-pinnacle is Craig’s phenom beard and hair situation. How much does he look like Liam?

Shit, son.

This is why Miley Cyrus is on the right track, she will never be without a hot husband. She’s come a long way from Hannah Montana. I really thought she would marry a country singer like some version of young Blake Shelton and end up wearing bootleg jeans with western belts all the time but here we are, she made a great decision.

I feel like he made a grave error in shaving off the beard in the early 80’s but the shorts are doing things for me so you’re forgiven, sweet Craig.

Look at him at this premiere, he’s serving up serious Clint Eastwood vibes, which should please my Editor Josie, who froths Clint big time.

Credit: Zak Kaczmarek/Getty Images

Here’s old Craig half in a photo.

I did find one unflattering photo and in the interest of ethical journalism and honesty, I will share it with you but Craig – please never wear this outfit again. Never tuck your footy top into your jeans. What are you doing.

That’s it, thirst hour is over we can all go home (kidding Craig call me, except don’t bc you and Mrs. Hemsworth are extremely cute and ILY and your mornings of muesli and fruit).