As people with penises are probably aware, Victoria’s Secret Angel Rosie Huntington-Whitley has just been cast as Megan Fox’s replacement in Transformers 3 (translation: resident hot girl whose attraction to Shia LaBeouf is marginally less plausible than the existence of interstellar robots).
As most media outlets have noted, it’s a major coup for Huntington-Whitley’s as she has no prior acting experience whatsoever. She basically usurped a whole class of desperate loser actresses who have skills like on set experience and formal training by looking like Rosie Huntington-Whitley. Because only Rosie Huntington-Whitley looks like Rosie Huntington-Whitley. Wow her name is remarkably cadent isn’t it? Vaguely aristocratic too. Anyway, to celebrate her silver screen debut, Victoria’s Secret have released a congratulatory youtube video that’s self-aggrandizing in a way that’s both hilarious (unintentionally) and kinda sad. Terrible industrial music, slow motion stock footage and titles like “Our Angel” and “Go Get ‘Em Rosie” combine for 90 seconds of back-patting that proves why masturbation and Victoria’s Secret are linked in more ways than one.
Marianna Massey via Getty