U.N. Figures Show Australia Leads The World in Ecstasy Consumption

We may have been knocked out of the World Cup early on, and we may not have enjoyed much success at Wimbledon, but Australia does lead the world in one key area: the consumption of vast quantities of ecstasy

The United Nations World Drug Report, released today, shows that Aussies are necking way more than our share of pills. The most recent available figures, from 2010, indicate that there is a 2.9% prevalence of ecstasy use in people over the age of 15. That sounds like not very much and simultaneously like a whole goddamn lot.
Compared with the competition, we’re further off tap than anywhere else in the developed world. Our closest rivals, The Czech Republic, had only a 2.2% prevalence of ecstasy use that same year. On average, we’re way more munted than England and The USA, and we piss all over France, where just 0.2% of the adult population are gurning on any regular basis.

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE. *

Though high, our rate of ecstasy use is apparently on the decline. We’re not doing too shabbily in our consumption of other substances, however. The rate of cannabis use in Australia and New Zealand sits at around 10.8%, while 3% of us are on synthetic opioids, and 1.5% know a guy who knows a guy who has some really shitty, stepped-on cocaine for sale at way too high a price. 

Nobody does heroin anymore, because it’s way too ’90s and the dead baby scene from Trainspotting is still way too fresh in our minds.

* Don’t do drugs.

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