Trump Reckons Clinton Is Off Chops, Demands Drug Test Before Next Debate

As Donald Trump faces increasingly damning allegations of sexual misconduct, America’s foremost orange billionaire presidential candidate has made a desperate bid to change the subject, accusing his opponent Hillary Clinton of juicing up before their debates.
Speaking at a rally in New Hampshire, Trump suggested that his rival has been getting “pumped up” on some kind of performance-enhancing substance, and has challenged her to take a drug test before their final meet-up this week. 
Much like your mate who’s hugging everyone and bouncing off the walls on the Friday of Splendour, and is a catatonic f’kn mess bySunday, Trump argued that Clinton’s waning energy level when they last met is evidence that she’s on something. 
He told the rally that presidential candidates are like athletes, and should undergo screenings before debate appearances, continuing: 
“I think we should take a drug test prior to the debate. Because I don’t know what’s going on with her, but at the beginning of her last debate, she was all pumped up at the beginning, and at the end it was like, huff, take me down. She could barely reach her car … A lot of things are going on, folks. A lot of things. I think she’s actually getting pumped, you want to know the truth? She’s getting pumped up. She’s getting pumped up for Wednesday.”
Trump, who himself has raised eyebrows by sniffling repeatedly throughout his own appearances, has promised that he will also take a drug test before their next debate. 
The Clinton campaign has called the accusation a “shameful” attempt to undermine her. 
Source: CNN.
Photo: Broad City / Comedy Central.