As we all know coffee, the sweet brown bean juice we all consume by the bucket load, was invented by David Crane and Marta Kaufmann way back in 1994 in order to provide a reason for the characters of now-classic TV sitcom ‘Friends’ to gather in a central location they could use each season without blowing out the budget.
Thanks to the brave ingenuity of the TV showrunners, coffee has become a staple of our very lives and I personally take a moment before every caffeine hit to picture and thank Phoebe, Rachel or, heck, even Chandler, chugging back a latte. Not all heroes wear capes, remember.
Imbibing a “beaner” has become so synonymous with the 90s hit, that I’m truly amazed it’s taken this long for someone to go through all 236 episodes of ‘Friends‘ and add up exactly how many coffees they slosh, but thankfully Twitter genious Kit Lovelace has done the lord’s work and presented us with the following, frankly astounding, findings.
Oh, so Phoebe drank the most coffees out of the gang, sinking 227 brown boys out of the collective, and admirable, 1154 coffees that went into mouths owned by ‘The Friends’. “Ok cool, so that’s done then”, you might think, but you’d be wrong. You huge idiot. You couldn’t BE more wrong you simpleton.
Kit’s barely getting started mates, with whatever brain illness that’s forced him to conduct such an insane, time-intensive review also leading him to look at coffee consumption over time, as well as how much money the group dropped at Central Perk.
Some takeaways from this impressive collection of statistics: Rachel Green, aruguably the fastest talker on the show, is surprisingly the least keen on that sweet, sweet java. Where was she getting all that frenetic energy from one wonders?
Also, looking at the consumption across the seasons graph, one notices Chandler’s caffeine habits dropping much more dramatically than his fellow Friendos. What was the catalyst here? A coffee-related trauma of some kind? Almost definitely.
Head to Kit’s full Twitter thread
here for more insights on how he gained his measurements. Thank you for this next-level science, Kit, you’re officially up there with the best of ’em.
Picture: Friends / NBC.
